His body broken for us

Last night at church, we shared the Lord's Supper. I really appreciate how we've been participating lately by standing up and walking to the table to receive the elements. I find it very beautiful to watch thousands of people silently streaming forward in a communal act of physically receiving the symbols of death and forgiveness.

The deacons of the church stood at the tables, serving the juice and bread. As I was waiting for my turn, I noticed that shards and crumbs from the wafers were scattered on the ground. Those crumbs and bits of bread represent Christ's body. The people of the church were trampling the pieces, crushing them underfoot. As my foot fell down on those crumbs and ground them into the carpet, it was such an incredible physical reminder of what my sins and the sins of those around me put Jesus through. He was trampled and crushed and ground into the dirt by the very people who depended on him for their salvation. By me.

I realize that for those of you who are Catholic or who have a Catholic background, this description of the treatment of the elements could be upsetting to you. It was upsetting to me. But it was upsetting in a powerful and beautiful way. I went back to my seat and ate the bread and drank the wine and thanked God for His mercy on me - chief among his tormentors and executioners.

***
Wounded and forsaken, I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten, feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King into the Master's courts
Lifted by the Savior and cradled in his arms...


I was carried to the table, seated where I don't belong
Carried to the table, swept away by His love
And I don't see my brokenness anymore
when I'm seated at the table of the Lord
Carried to the table, the table of the Lord.



Fighting thoughts of fear, wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup? This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness the Savior called my name
In His holy presence I am healed and unashamed...


As I'm carried to the table, seated where I don't belong
Carried to the table, swept away by His love
And I don't see my brokenness anymore
when I'm seated at the table of the Lord
I'm carried to the table, the table of the Lord.

~Leeland

Thoughts

I had a fling yesterday. You heard me right. "Why have a full on affair when you can have a fling?" Of course, I'm referring to a candy bar that my roommate brought back from New Zealand. It really is called a Fling. And it really does have that little catch phrase on the package. It was tasty.

It occurred to me this morning that I've had nine roommates. Nine! In the span of five years, no less. Fortunately, if I stay on track to keep my New Year's resolution, then my tenth roommate will be the final one.

Mike Huckabee was on the Colbert Report this week. I've seen him on there before. He's really funny. Is it bad that I would consider supporting him because I like his sense of humor? I suppose it's probably not the best idea to vote for the President of the United States and leader of the free world based on his ability to come up with a good punch line.

Oh, and on the Daily Show, Jon Stewart referred to Larry King as a "magical talking gnome." I haven't laughed so hard in ages.

Above Average

The average American woman owns 19 pairs of shoes. It's good to know I'm above average. But I must admit I had no idea how far I exceeded the norm when it comes to shoes. I know I have a lot of shoes, I just had no idea I had that many more shoes than is considered normal. In fact, just 15 percent of women own 30 pairs of shoes, according to the Consumer Reports National Research Center.

Confession: I have 31 pairs of shoes, not counting flip-flops and a few pairs that I've been meaning to give to Goodwill.

Live from City Hall

I'm blogging from City Hall...this could signal a huge turn-around in the outlook for my Wednesdays. If I have to be stuck in these meetings, at least I'll have the opportunity to mock the proceedings in real time. I am having some internet connectivity issues. I'm also concerned there may be some problems with this laptop, so I'm hoping this all works out.

Right now the Controller and Finance Administrator are giving their monthly financial reports to the councilmembers. Yawn. The most interesting thing that has happened so far was when the mayor lectured the new councilmembers on how to present their arguments around the table.

Damsel in Distress

I came home Sunday night to find an intruder in my house. He tried to attack me, but I fought back and killed him. I then had a problem: getting rid of the body. I couldn't do it on my own. I tried, but found myself unequal to the task. So I emailed four of my guy friends, asking if someone could help me.

One guy responded. One! Wow. I feel loved.

Irony

Just when you think you're alone and longing for companionship...you discover there's a giant cockroach in your kitchen.

Ever miss something you've never had?
I just feel a little alone.

Premonitions

Ever have a moment when you just know without a doubt that something is about to happen? That's happened to me several times lately. But I'm not talking about just a vague premonition. I'm talking about specific details. For example, last week I was heading home after having dinner with friends. I got in my car, put my purse on the seat and literally thought "I should pull my phone out of my purse because Alyssa is about to call me." Within 15 seconds, Alyssa called. Now Alyssa and I don't talk on the phone much and it's not an everyday thing for her to call me. But I somehow knew she was going to call.

It happened again last night. Twice. The first time was when I was again leaving the group and again I thought "Alyssa is about to call." Sure enough, seconds later my phone rang. She was calling to suggest that we, along with another friend, go get some coffee.

We drove to the coffee shop. Now, we were heading to a shop we don't often go to. It's not one of my regular haunts. But as we walked up to the cafe, I looked inside and saw several people sitting at tables. I made eye contact with one guy who I've never seen before, but as soon as I saw him I thought "someone we know is going to be inside." Guess what. We walked in and made it about five steps and saw a friend sitting at one of the tables. And what's even weirder is she was sitting with that guy that I had made eye contact with just moments before.

Now I just need to figure out how I can turn this to my advantage. I should work on having a premonition about what my future holds.

Battling My Fears

When I was about nine years old something horrible happened to me that has haunted me all my life. For years I avoided confronting the issue. That one moment has had repercussions for the past 20 years of my life. But about three weeks ago, I finally confronted my fears and have let go of that moment from the past.

I have found freedom and finally started using a round styling brush on my hair.

You thought this was going to be a serious QQ post, didn't you? So gullible.

You see, when I was young I had really long hair. So long I could sit on it. And one fateful day one of my older girl cousins was playing with my hair. She was brushing it and braiding it and just having fun. And she took a round hair brush and rolled it up in my hair...and it got stuck. Horribly stuck. My hair was all tangled up in it and she freaked out and started trying to tug it out and that hurt SO bad. So of course, I started crying and ran to get my mom. It took about half an hour to get that brush out of my hair.

Ever since then, I would never use a round brush. All my stylists through the years told me I needed to use one -- it would increase the volume. But always in the back of my mind I had memories of that awful experience with a round hairbrush.

But a few weeks ago I decided to confront my fears and start using a round brush. (It helps that my hair is about two feet shorter than it used to be.)

Freedom is a voluminous thing.

Resolution

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions. But this year I decided I should have at least one. The problem with resolutions is most people don't have the motivation to actually keep them. You pick something that you know you should work on, but you don't really want to work on. So you say to yourself "this year I am going to exercise more, eat better, quit procrastinating, save more money and give more of my time to volunteering." But you don't really feel like doing any of those things. So I have decided I need to set a resolution that I will actually want to accomplish.

That's why my New Year's resolution for 2008...is to have sex. I feel there is sufficient motivation for me to keep this one. Of course, I'm talking about sex after the wedding. So I suppose my actual resolution is to get married. "Find your mate in '0-8!"

Of course, I'd also settle for "Go on a date in '0-8."

I Do?

I had Taco Bell for lunch today (I know, I know). I don't use the hot sauce, but they threw a couple in my bag. I glanced at one to read the funny comment on the front. It said "Will you marry me?"

I've just been proposed to by a fast food condiment.

Bah! Humbug!

Traditionally here at the station, and across campus, we get a half day off on the final work day before a holiday. Now this half day isn't an automatic right. It's usually something we find out about at about 11am that day. The idea is that everyone gets to go to lunch and just not come back afterward. It's a nice treat for the staff. Well this year, instead of the friendly email informing us of an extra half day, we got this lovely email from the Chancellor's office:

Sent: Thursday, December 20, 2007 2:48

Subject: Campus Closing

"This e-mail is to notify everyone that Interim Chancellor Rudley will NOT be closing the UH System campuses at noon tomorrow. Please share this information with your staff and should you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact our office."

I think somebody is getting a stocking filled with coal for Christmas.

Sparklies

I love my friends and am so excited to celebrate with them when something joyous happens. But I'm thinking SEVEN engagements within a month's time is getting to be a bit much. Have some mercy on us poor single girls!

Shenanigans at City Hall

It was quite the day in council chambers. Today was the last council meeting for four of the members who are term-limited. So of course, there were many farewells, well wishes, good-natured jokes and some unexpected flirting!

It all started when Councilmember Peter Brown informed outgoing Councilmember Addie Wiseman that she always gave him a lovely view to look at across the table. Councilmember Anne Clutterbuck sits next to Brown and confirmed that he would frequently make complimentary comments about Wiseman's hair or shade of lipstick.

It could only go downhill from there. Wiseman told Brown she was available for dinner. Brown referred to himself as a "harmless old man." The mayor suggested someone look into their mobile phone records to see if any "impropriety" took place. And the jokes went on.

Oh, and I didn't escape my share of flirtations either. One of my colleagues from another news outlet listens to my station in the mornings and informed me that I was on the radio at shower-time, therefore we took a shower together. I should mention that colleague is a woman.

Your World, Delivered

My blog is so international it's not even funny. Well, okay maybe it is a little funny. In the past three weeks, the QQ has received visitors from Greece, France, Portugal, Germany, South Korea, Romania, Serbia, Japan, India, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Australia, Hungary and...Ho Chi Minh City. I'm so not making this up.

Thoughts

Pass the cheer. Retro graphics. Wintry sound effects. And they just sent me a free $5 gift card for passing the cheer. I really do feel cheery now.

The answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. But apparently it's not the answer to conversations held over Facebook Message.

It's that wonderful time of the year in which proposals fall thicker than snow. I haven't missed out on my share of the action. I got a marriage proposal on Saturday evening. Unfortunately, it was from a girl. So my tally now stands thus:
Proposals from girls: 3
Proposals from boys: 0

Christmas is coming!

Murphy's Law

Last night I went to a really nice party at a hot new spot downtown. In fact, this place isn't even open to the public yet. But the guy who was throwing the party has a connection or two. I took a friend with me to the party. At one point we were standing out on the deck having a private conversation. Now, this conversation was completely innocent, entirely appropriate and not in the least questionable. But part of the conversation centered around a delicate subject and included a word not normally used in polite company. It wasn't profanity. It was just a word that usually doesn't come up in social settings. (And it was a word that HAD to be repeated in the context of the conversation taking place, which I reiterate, was a completely innocent conversation.) For those of you who are really curious, the word sounds similar to masticate. You follow? Ok. Well literally the moment that word came out of my friend's mouth, the nicest, most down-to-earth couple appeared out of nowhere right at our elbows and said "Is this a private conversation? Because we'd love to join you."

Awkward.

Hope Springs Eternal or Confessions

In light of the Mitchell Report, I feel it's time to come clean. The last thing I need is a senator revealing my secrets to the world. So I'm going to preempt any investigations or hearsay and just admit the truth.

I wait until the last possible moment to RSVP to weddings. You might be saying to yourself, "that's not so bad, lots of people do that." But I haven't told you my reason yet.

I wait until the last possible moment to RSVP because I am secretly hoping I will acquire a boyfriend before the RSVP date. Think of it! I could finally take advantage of the "and guest" portion of the invitation!

I have a wedding invitation on my dresser right now and I can't bring myself to RSVP for it because of the teensy, tiny, extremely unlikely possibility that I might have an "and guest" by the time of the wedding in mid-February.

Of course, the RSVP is required by mid-January, making that teensy, tiny, extremely unlikely possibility even more of a fairy-tale dream.

Luuuuke!

I can't believe the Astros traded Luke Scott! What are they thinking?!?

The Guilty Pleasures

We've covered the best and worst. Now it's time to confess to you the Christmas songs that I secretly enjoy...even though they are technically on the lousy side. Some of these are just fun. Others are catchy. None of them are what we think of when we consider "great" Christmas music. But I like 'em.

5. All I Want for Christmas is You
Powerhouse vocals and peppy beat. Sing it, Mariah!

4. Jingle Bell Rock
You HAVE to sing along. And you HAVE to love Home Alone.

3. Baby It's Cold Outside
Scandalous. And delicious. Ray makes this song velvet.

2. Santa Baby
Christmas and Madonna. Irony on multiple levels.

1. The Christmas Song
Sung as only Nat can sing it. It's really not worth listening to any other version. This song seems to really tap into all the magical moments we imagine for the Christmas season.

The Best

I apologize for subjecting you to yesterday's travesties of Christmas music. To make amends, please take a moment to enjoy my personal favorites of Christmas music.

Honorable Mention: Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas

5. Ave Maria
Points off for being theologically unsound. But still one of the most beautiful songs in the Christmas lexicon.

4. Carol of the Bells
You can't help but love the beauty and simplicity of voices in this piece. And I'm not talking about the techno Trans-Siberian version.

3. O Come, O Come Emmanuel
This song wonderfully illustrates the tension inherent in that Emmanuel God With Us dwells in our hearts, and yet we still long for the physical return of Christ.

2. O Holy Night
It has profound lyrics and an overt gospel message. Too bad most of us can't sing this song.

1. Handel's Messiah
Speaks for itself. Don't forget to stand during the performance.

The Worst

I love Christmas music. I'm one of those people who would listen to Christmas music all year, if my friends and family would let me. I get all excited about the radio stations that start broadcasting Christmas music right after Thanksgiving. Some of the songs are so beautiful, both lyrically and musically. But I will be the first to admit there is some really, truly awful Christmas music out there. And when I hear certain songs come on the radio, I scream and change the station as quickly as possible. So today I give you my personal list of the worst Christmas music. Tomorrow I will attempt to make peace with all of you by providing my list of the best Christmas music.

Top Five WORST Christmas songs:

5. Same Old Lang Syne
If you haven't heard this song, be grateful. It starts out with the line "Met my old lover in the grocery store" and it goes downhill from there. Nothing says warm, fuzzy Christmas cheer like a song about drinking a six pack with your ex- while trying to drown the emptiness inside.

4. Feliz Navidad
Ok, this one really isn't all that awful. Until you realize it has sucked out your brain and replaced your grey cells with liquid goo capable only of humming that one line over and over and over and over and...

3. Wonderful Christmastime
Not the synth! Agghhh!

2. Christmas Shoes
This was a tough call. Should Christmas Shoes be considered the worst Christmas song of all time? Many say yes. I am inclined to agree with them. That is, until I asked myself which I would prefer: being forced to listen to Christmas Shoes on repeat for the rest of my life until I could bear it no longer and attempt suicide in a miserable desperate cry for help OR being forced to smile and pretend to be happy while listening to the following song...

1. Happy Birthday Jesus
Make. It. Stop.

Au Revoir

I'm off to Atlanta. Back on Monday. Merry Weekend!

Wherefore art thou, Gmail?

Something is wrong with my gmail account. At least five emails that I should have received this week haven't come through. And those are just the ones I know about. There could be countless more that aren't arriving. Who knows how long this has been going on. I could potentially miss the single most important email of my life...and never know it. I console myself with the fact that life's most important events usually don't take place over email.

Um, thanks

I love my friends, I really do. And I feel loved when they travel to exotic locations and bring me back a gift or souvenir. Earlier this year one of my guy friends went out of town and came back with a special present for me. This year another guy friend went on a trip and brought back something just for me. He was really excited about it and said it was the perfect gift. I'm starting to worry about what my guy friends think of me.

It measures 9 inches long.

Now I'm no Freud expert, but I think there's a definite subliminal message in this gift. My friend says the instant he saw it, he had to get it for me. In case anyone is wondering, it's a giant...Plumeria root. For my Project Patio. Of course, I can't help but wonder if my friend is trying to tell me something.

Luck o' the Irish

That pot of seeds is supposed to turn into a lush little garden of Shamrocks. If only it would turn into the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So far, no such luck.

Happy Blogventing, Day Two!

I'm Free! And a Christmas Tradition.

First off, freedom! As of today, December 3rd, 2007, I am officially 100% debt-free! No school debt. No car loan. No credit card bills. It's been a long, difficult struggle to reach this spot. God has been faithful to provide, even when it seemed like the setbacks were more frequent than the progress. I am so excited to finally be completely out of debt. Woo hoo!

Second, it is time to revive a time-honored Christmas tradition. That's right, my annual Christmas blogvent calendar is back. For those of you who are new to this tradition, every weekday leading up to Christmas I will offer you my own version of an advent calendar. Nothing says Merry Christmas like the 2007 Blogvent Calendar!

Dagnabit

I went to the mall and did Christmas shopping today. Got a lot of stuff. Forgot that my dad's birthday is next week and I haven't bought him anything. Phooey.

Sweet Romance

Remember the Dirty Dancing wedding dance a few posts back? Well, this wedding dance is more my speed.

Robot Domination

This is a pretty cool video of robots making cars. But what's even cooler is that I'm working on a news report about how these same robots are being used to diagnose and treat stroke patients. St. Luke's Episcopal Hospital is the only hospital in the world to test this device for neurovascular treatments. If all goes well, the robot could be FDA approved for use in hospitals.

Thoughts from City Council

I'm like Charlie Brown. Every once in a while, the councilmembers complete the agenda before Noon. Today they were actually done with all official business at 10:36am. I got all excited thinking I might get out as early as 11:00 or 11:15 at the latest. I failed to account for the fact that they have this wonderful (read torturous) thing called pop-off, wherein each councilmember has the opportunity to talk about absolutely whatever he or she wants...for seemingly as long as he or she wants. The agenda was complete at 10:36 but the meeting wasn't over until 12:01. I got my hopes up and fell for the illusion once again. Hope springs eternal.

In other council news, a cell phone belonging to someone in the audience went off during the meeting. The man who owned the cell phone jumped up and left the room, but not before I could detect the tune of his ringtone. It was the theme music from Sex and the City.

I also saw a man wearing a dangly earring...in the shape of a Christmas candy cane.

I think both these instances are clearly man-card violations.

Thoughts from the sick bed

I do some strange things when I'm sick. Things I wouldn't normally do. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the side effects of the various medicines I'm ingesting. When you're battling a sinus infection, it's not uncommon to take one drug that causes drowsiness in combination with another drug that causes jumpiness and nervous energy. You'd think these things would cancel each other out. But instead they turn me into a woman who wants to complete every decorating and cooking project in the Martha Stewart magazine while only having the energy of a wet noodle.

I also drink inordinate amounts of orange juice when I'm sick. I know it has vitamin C and it's good to get the fluids in me. But wouldn't a vitamin C tablet and a bottle of water accomplish the same thing? But for some reason, I feel compelled to drink OJ like it's going out of style. Half a gallon in 24 hours.

I watch TV channels that I religiously avoid when I'm healthy. What is it about HGTV that is so darn appealing when I'm in my jammies, prostrate on the couch with my blankie? I never watch HGTV. But yesterday I learned how to make styrofoam snowmen with felt hats and scarves. I also ended up parked on the USA channel for about three and a half hours.

I become A.D.D. I find myself watching TV, surfing the internet, instant messaging and flipping through a magazine all at the same time. The instant message conversation highlighted this phenomenon. No matter what my friend typed, my brain would come up with something completely off-topic in response.

I only eat foods that can be served in near-liquid form. I looked in the sink this morning and all I saw was cups, glasses and bowls. This would make sense if I was suffering from a stomach bug.

But all I have is a sinus infection.

Home. Sick.

Only My Family

Through some error of miscommunication,

we ended up with two and a half turkeys on Thanksgiving.

For ten people.

It was a dark and stormy night...

I'm not sure how I feel about this

The answers to life's persistent questions

Or at least the answers to my blog readers' persistent questions. This is to appease the ladies (and Phil) who have been pleading for more information on my dinner with a certain individual last week.

About the evening:

• He called when he was on his way (points for being so thoughtful)
• He picked me up, opened doors for me and treated me VERY well
• We had dinner and good conversation, the mood was lighthearted and fun
• He suggested we "continue this back at your place"
• I made sure he knew he wouldn't be getting an overnight invitation
• We went back to my house and talked some more and watched a movie
• He asked if he would see me over the weekend and we determined that our schedules would keep us from getting together
• He hugged me and since he didn't go for the kiss, I decided not to hit him over the head with my purse

About the guy:

• He's in international business
• He makes me laugh
• He loves Jesus
• He's smarter than I am
• He's handy (not handsy)
• He's VERY attractive
• He's not my boyfriend (that one's for Phil)

We want YOU as a new recruit!

No this isn't the guy who bought me dinner last week. But I did claim this guy as my own personal Lieutenant. The picture is kinda funny...looks like I'm giddy over the situation I find myself in. The reality is that a friend of mine had just called my name and I turned to see who it was and gave this huge grin. And right then, the picture is snapped.

Incidentally, every time I look at this picture I think "Dang, I'm really short."

Ask, and You Shall Receive

There were a number of things I had in mind to blog about today, but they were all trumped by a surprise twist of events. Little did I know that when I stated a felt need yesterday, it would promptly be answered.

Remember this statement? "What I need now is a date."
Guess what.
My cell phone rang after work last night and by about five minutes into the conversation I found myself agreeing to letting my caller take me out to dinner. And for those of you who may be thinking smugly to yourselves "it was probably one of her girlfriends" au contraire, mon amis. He's all man.

The End

Just another day in the life...

A professional stylist did my hair and make-up today. Then I had a photo shoot, complete with wardrobe change. I look fabulous. What I need now is a date.

Which reminds me...in Sunday School (excuse me...Adult Bible Fellowship) I distinctly remember the teacher, Bill, saying something to the effect of "girls, when that guy calls this week and asks you out for Friday night..." In fact, he referenced this idea two times in his lesson. So if I interpret this correctly, Bill has promised me not once, but TWICE, that a guy would call and ask me out this week. Well Bill, it's Thursday and guess what? No call.
I am seriously displeased.

Be Responsible

B is for Bread Pudding

I baked bread pudding this week. Technically that starts with a 'B' but I am not counting it in my A-Z Baking Challenge. After all, it's supposed to be a challenge and there is nothing challenging about bread pudding. I just happened to have some stale bread, plenty of eggs and milk...so voila! Bread Pudding!

So for anyone who may have been worried that I was shirking my higher calling, rest assured I am indeed still baking. I just haven't had much time for the really tough stuff. I have my 'B' recipe selected. But I need about a day to prepare it and about 8 friends to eat it. Volunteers? :)

Laurie's Bread Pudding

10 slices stale white bread, torn into pieces
1/4 butter, melted
1 tsp cinnamon
6 eggs
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
3 cups scalded milk (heat milk in saucepan until just before it boils)
nutmeg

Lightly butter a 2-quart baking dish. Combine bread, butter and cinnamon; toss well and place into baking dish. Beat together the eggs, sugar, vanilla and salt. Temper the eggs by whisking about 1/2 cup scalded milk into the eggs. Whisk warmed egg mixture into remaining milk. Pour over bread mixture. Sprinkle nutmeg over the top. Let the pudding rest while you preheat the oven to 375. Bake for 30 minutes or until pudding is set and toothpick inserted comes out mostly clean.

I topped mine with a drizzle of caramel sauce and garnished with fresh raspberries. You can also try any of the following variations.

Add 1/2 cup of any of the following:
Pecans
Almonds
Dried Cranberries
Dried Cherries
Raisins
Chopped Dried Apricots
Chocolate Chips

Blog Thoughts

I didn't plan to mop the kitchen at 10pm last night. But when I dropped the wet coffee filter filled with coffee grounds on the floor and the grounds went SPLAT all over the place, it became apparent I was going to mop the kitchen at 10pm last night.

Usually my dreams come in the form of suspense/thrillers or dramas. There's also the occasional slapstick comedy. Last night I dreamt in technicolor chick-flick. I was leaving church and a guy was walking out with me. He took my hand to help me down the steps and then he kept holding my hand as we walked out to the parking lot. Right as I was thinking to myself "does he realize we're holding hands?" he turned to me and smiled and asked me what I thought about the fact that we were holding hands. I replied "um, why don't you tell me what YOU think about it?" He said he liked it and liked me and wanted to know how I felt about that. Then we lived happily ever after. Ok, not really. But you get the idea.

I left the house early this morning, congratulating myself on getting on the road ahead of time and thinking with pleasure how I would be at the office before anyone expected me to be there. About 7 minutes into my commute I realized I left my lunch on the kitchen counter at home. Yes, that's right. I turned around and went back for my lunch. And lost all the extra time I had previously congratulated myself upon.

Best quote of the day:
"A naked woman is a naked woman is a naked woman. They just want them to be naked."

Because it's Friday

...and because red cups are out...and because it has been a week of looking back at the past...I give you...(drum roll please)...

The Friday Funnies!
Things that made me laugh this week:

"I'm pretty sure Troy will never have contractions."

Guy: "Well, Dora and I are going to do it this year."*
*Name changed to protect the "innocent."

"I remembered the toilet paper, which naturally led me to remember the ass."

"I wasn't feeling my loco. I don't even know how to do that."

Guy to me: "I don't remember when you were in my bed...I have a bad memory about these things."

They're Baaack!

Don't Drink the Water!

Isn't that what everyone has always told you when you travel to Mexico? Don't drink the water! You'll regret it if you do!

Here in the newsroom, we often get promotional items. Today we received a case of mineral water. From Mexico. Oh the irony.

Apparently they're now exporting Montezuma's Revenge.

This is how it works:
You're young until you're not.
You love until you don't.
You try until you can't.
You laugh until you cry.
You cry until you laugh.
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath.



No, this is how it works:
You peer inside yourself,
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take the love you made
And stick it into
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again.

Befuddling

Please watch this video with your speakers on. Then discuss your theories and opinions on exactly what kind of mind-altering drug the singer was using when he recorded this song.

Goodfellas

This morning I was walking out of my office to head to a news assignment and I passed one of my older male co-workers in the hall.

Me: "Good Morning. How's it going?"
Him: "Oh, it's going alright but the day is just getting started. Plenty of time for things to go wrong."
Me, laughing ironically: "I suppose that's true. See ya later."

A minute later I exited the building and passed one of my younger male co-workers.

Me: "Hey! Good morning. How ya doing?"
Him: "Hey there. Doing alright. But the day is young and that could soon change."
Me: "Uh, yeah. That seems to be the general mindset. See ya."

I'm surrounded by defeatists.

Department of Shameless Promotion

Pushing Daisies is one of the best new shows on network television. Seriously. I don't watch much TV because there's not much TV worth watching. But this show is just delightful. I was intrigued by the critical reviews and the plot premise. So I decided to tune in to the episode premiere. I have not been disappointed yet. The show is a combination of quirk, whimsy, murder mystery and good old-fashioned love story. It's a sort of fairy tale for grown-ups. The characters are lovable, but flawed enough to not be sickening. The humor is dark and irreverent without being trashy, cheap or stupid. And the sets and special effects are as lavish, delectable and toothsome as a piece of pie. And I love that ABC provides all the episodes free online. So if I miss a week, I can watch the full episode on my laptop any time I choose.

Pushing Daisies has the Laurie Seal of Approval.

Requiem for a Song

Listening to commercial radio is depressing. Do you ever really stop and listen to the lyrics of the songs? I'm not talking about the raunchy stuff or the silly stuff. I'm talking about the songs that for all intents and purposes are supposed to be serious. Especially the ones that are about "true love."

Exhibit A:
"Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got.
She's not much of a girlfriend,
I never seem to get a lot."

Exhibit B:
"My girl's in the next room.
Sometimes I wish she was you.
I guess we never really moved on.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name,
It sounds so sweet.
Coming from the lips of an angel,
Hearing those words it makes me weak."

Exhibit C:
"You're still a part of everything I do.
You're on my heart just like a tattoo.
Just like a tattoo,
I'll always have you."

It hurts me.

Get the Sensation

When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I get the cool sensation of hiking to the peak of Mt. Everest and soaring down to the bottom by parachute while taking in the glorious views all around me only to realize someone else packed my chute and the idiot messed it up and now the chute won't release and I'm hurtling down thousands of feet while shrieking blood-curdling screams and wetting myself and I just desperately want my mommy but I'll never see her again and I'll never get to hear the words "I love you" or have children or grow old with someone and any minute now my body will be nothing more than a pile of pulp lost somewhere on the side of the mountain where no one will ever find it and 100 years from now a Sherpa will discover my skeleton and someone will write a novel about me based on how they think I may have died but no one will ever know it was Death by Peppermint Pattie.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

I wonder how many brain cells I destroy each Wednesday by sitting through the city council meetings? I feel myself getting dumber by the minute as I listen to the truly mind-numbing arguments over city ordinances.

Whittling the Wish List

I've knocked another item off the Wish List! Yes it starts with a 'B' and no it isn't Zach Braff. I got a bicycle! As with nearly everything in my life, there's a funny story connected to my acquisition of a bicycle. Sunday morning, my roommate and I were heading out of the house to run an errand. I pulled out of the garage and that's when I noticed a cute red bike sitting on my neighbor's trash heap. "I want that bike," I said to my roomie. "I'm going to get it when we get back."

A couple hours later, I got back home and the bike was still there on the garbage pile. So I went around front and knocked on the neighbor's door. Nobody home. Hmmm. What to do? I want that bike, but I don't want to just take it without telling my neighbor. But I also don't want anyone else to take it.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I wrote a sweet little note about how I'd love to have the bike and would take very good care of it. Then I taped the note to the seat of the bike, where my neighbor would be sure to see it when she got home.

Sure enough, about an hour later she knocks on my door and tells me I'm more than welcome to take the bike and she hopes I get good use out of it. There's nothing wrong with it other than flat tires. She just wanted a new one and didn't need the old one anymore.

So I am now the happy owner of a red bike. All I need now is a straw basket and a little ringy-dingy bell. Oh...and some tires.

p.s. I acquired this bike while baking my 'A' dessert. Who knows what might happen when I bake 'B'?!

Baking: A-Z

I've started accomplishing my goal! I've baked 'A' right off my list. What you see to your left is a very poor-quality photo of an Apple Pie Cupcake. The idea is to take one dessert and reinterpret it into another dessert. I liked the flavor, but next time I will make them with more apples. The recipe I used didn't specify the size of apples and the ones I had were quite small. But otherwise, everything came out just right and in the perfect quantities. There was EXACTLY enough frosting for the amount of cupcakes I made.

I'm posting the recipe for everyone. I found it on another website. I'm also trying to decide what my 'B' recipe will be. I have a few ideas...

Apple Pie Cupcakes

(makes 24 cupcakes)

Cupcakes

2 1/4 cups all purpose flour

2 1/4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

2 sticks plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened at room temp

1 1/2 cups sugar

4 large eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp finely grated lemon zest

1 cup milk

Apple Topping

3 tbsp unsalted butter

1/3 cup sugar

3 granny smith apples, peeled, cored and slice (I would use about 5)

Frosting

3 sticks unsalted butter, softened at room temp

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon

To cook the apples

Place butter and sugar in large fry pan over low to medium heat. Stir to dissolve sugar. Add apple slices and cook for 8-10 minutes or until apples are lightly caramelized. Remove apples from heat and cool completely.

To make the cupcakes

Preheat oven to 325. Line 24 muffin wells with paper liners.

Sift together flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Set aside.

In a mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla and lemon zest.

On low speed, add the flour mixture and mix until flour is barely incorporated. Add the milk and mix until just smooth.

Divide the batter into the muffin wells, filling each well about 2/3 full. Top with the apples.

Bake at 325 about 15-20 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. Remove from pan and cool on cooling racks. Make sure cupcakes are completely cooled before frosting.

To frost the cupcakes

In a mixer, beat the butter until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the powdered sugar and cinnamon and beat for another five minutes until light and fluffy. Frost the cupcakes with a spatula or piping bag. Optional: lightly dust frosted cupcakes with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Bleary

I was up for 20 straight hours yesterday.

My Apologies

Dear Friends,

If you have called me, texted me, emailed me or generally tried to spend time with me over the past two weeks, please know I haven't just been ignoring you.

Twice a year we have our on-air fundraising campaign at the station. This is the most exciting and exhausting time of my job. In my time as a journalist I have covered disasters, been on the scene until 2am, been stuck in 100+ temps, pouring rain and sometimes freezing cold. But none of that is nearly as difficult or emotionally draining as being on-air during the fundraising campaign.

All that to say, I am now rejoining the land of the living and promise to be a good friend again. At least until the Spring fundraising campaign.

Kisses!
~LJ

Annoying

That little Gushy-Gram guy is starting to get on my nerves. I guess that means I need to blog a lot to bump him off the page.

Boyfriend Material?

We've long established that I don't have a boyfriend (see wish list). But yesterday I had an opportunity to get myself a boyfriend. However, I think my suitor makes for much better blog material than boyfriend material. Here's the story.

I've been having car problems. So I took my car to the repair shop right around the corner from my house. Throughout the process of describing the problem and filling out the paperwork, the guy who was helping me was clearly flirting with me. I didn't think much of this at the time and tried to maintain a friendly, but not encouraging, manner. Then I asked how long the repairs would take and he said it would be several hours.

Shop Guy: I'll give you a ride to your house so you don't have to wait here.
Me thinking: Uh oh. I don't want to ride anywhere with this guy, let alone have him know where I live.
Me out loud: Uh, thanks. But I live right around the corner and the weather is so pretty, I'll just walk home.
Shop Guy: No, no, I can't let you walk home. I'll give you a ride and then pick you up when your car is ready.
Me: It's not a big deal, I live less than two blocks from here.
Shop Guy: Perfect, I'll have you home in no time.
Me: Sigh. Thanks.

Two minutes later in car...

Shop Guy: So which way do I go?
Me: Turn right here at this intersection.
Shop Guy: Straight?
Me: No, turn right.
Shop Guy: Ok, go straight.
Me as we drive straight through the intersection: Uh, that was the turn to my street right there.
Shop Guy: That's ok. We're going the scenic route via Galveston. (Smiles and winks)
Me: (Nervous laugh) Well you can take the next right.
Shop Guy: You in a hurry to get home? I was thinking we could drive for a little bit and enjoy the day. I don't get to leave the shop all day, this is my only chance to get out.
Me: As long as I'm home in the next five minutes that's fine.
Shop Guy: You're funny. You single? Looking?
Me: Single, yes. Looking, depends.
Shop Guy: Depends on what?
Me thinking: Play the Christian card. That'll shut him up.
Me out loud: Well the biggest reason it depends is because of my faith. I'm Christian and deeply committed to my faith. So that's the most important thing to me.
Shop Guy: I'm Muslim-Catholic. Trying to cover all the bases.
Me: How's that working for ya?
Shop Guy: I'm kidding. I'm actually Maronite. It's a very strict form of Catholicism. Lots of rules, like no sex before marriage. Doesn't work for me. What do you think of that?
Me thinking: Warning! Danger! Get me out of this car!
Me out loud: I think a lot of rules aren't really the best way to please God, but I think no sex before marriage is wonderful. It's honorable to your future spouse and it's obedient to God's word.
Shop Guy: No, it's no good. You gotta figure out what you like. Try someone out before you commit.
Me: I don't think so.
Shop Guy: How old are you?
Me: 28
Shop Guy: So you're telling me you're 28 years old and you've never had sex?! Seriously, are you a virgin?
Me thinking: We're only 7 minutes into this car ride and he's already asking me about my sexual experience!
Me out loud: That's right. I'm a virgin and it is very important to me to honor God by remaining pure until I'm married.

Pulling up in front of my house...

Me: Well, thanks for the ride.
Shop Guy: Sure. I'll call you when your car is ready. And I'll look forward to picking you and bringing you back to the shop this evening to get your car.
Me with straight face: I can hardly wait.

Several hours later...

We went through the whole routine again. Another "scenic" route to the shop. More discussion about dating, sexual activity, religion and life in general. It ended with me getting my car, driving home and realizing that although that shop is two blocks from my house, it's not worth the emotional strain to be a repeat customer.

UPDATE: Shop Guy just texted me! He must have looked up my cell number on my paperwork. Ok...feeling a little vulnerable.

Setting Goals

I've been thinking about goals a lot this week. I'm in the middle of our on-air fundraiser at work, so there's a lot of talk about various monetary and listenership goals.

Then I read a Starbucks "The Way I See It" quote. Nothing quite like an espresso-laced latte at 5:15 in the morning to bring clarity to your life. The quote said "...stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities."

I think that's actually pretty profound. Think about all the things you would do if you considered your dreams as probabilities for your life. Would you travel more? Live in a different country? Learn another language? Give up more of your time and money for the poor and unloved? Read more? Watch TV less? Cultivate a new hobby? The list is endless.

With that idea in mind, I've decided to set a goal and believe that I "will" accomplish it. It may sound a little crazy and many of you may still be of the mindset that it can't be done. But I will forge on. My goal is to bake a list of items starting with each letter of the alphabet. :)

Feel free to submit suggestions.
And yes, I'll be considering some more "lofty" goals as well.

Thoughts...

It's a blustery day. That's a Winnie-the-Pooh phrase. I've always liked the word "blustery." Makes me think of cold drizzly days on an English hillside. I need a spot of tea and a hot buttered scone. This kind of day calls for a good Agatha Christie mystery.

Dumbledore is gay. Hmmm. I suppose JK Rowling can do whatever she wants with her fictional characters. But I confess I'm a bit surprised that she would attempt to work this element into the plot of the kindly professor. Makes his relationship with Harry seem a little suspect. Maybe someone should inspect his computer files. I'd hate to find out Dumbledore's intense interest in his young male student was more than just academic.

I don't really celebrate Halloween. But I do love a good bunny cartoon.

I'm so sleepy right now that I actually have a headache directly related to the crunchy droopy feeling in my eyelids. Getting up at 4am has that effect on me. Plus I'm back to the same dilemma I have every year at this time: do I take a nap or just go to bed reeeeaaaalllly early?

I bought three new dresses, one blouse and two pairs of shoes yesterday. I'm going to return one pair of shoes. I thought they were on sale for $15. I checked my receipt and they rang up $35. I don't want them for that price. I also found a dress for $14.95. It needs some slight alterations as it is too large in a couple spots, but I figured at that price I can afford to have it tailored.

I'm just not sure how I feel about the contrasting opaque tights with heels trend.

I got a tattoo!

Well, okay technically it's a henna tattoo. And technically it only lasts about 7-10 days. But I'm still enjoying it. I think it plays up my edgy side while still falling in line with my personal aesthetic.

"Awesome Blog"

I love this blog! I can think of several "friends" who will really "enjoy" this one. ;)

So many thoughts...

Create Your Own GushyGram
Visit MushyGushy.com

True or False

I didn't blog on Friday and Monday because:

T/F: I didn't feel like it.

T/F: I kinda forgot.

T/F: I didn't want to detract from TWO new blog posts on another blog.

T/F: I wanted to see how many comments I could generate by not posting anything new.

T/F: All of the above.

Please, No Jokes

I am sitting at my desk, minding my own business, and my bra just popped open.

Love-Hate Relationship

Things I love (in no particular order):

• Chilly mornings
• Chocolate milk
• Wearing jeans to work
• Not having to fix my hair
• Taking a shower
• Sitting outside and reading
• Mascara
• Taking care of my plants
• Waking up feeling rested
• Baking
• Feeling loved

Things I hate (in a particular order):

• Hot, muggy mornings
• Plain milk
• Dressing up for work
• Not having time to fix my hair
• Feeling grimy
• Sitting outside and sweating
• Blush
• Accidentally killing my plants
• Fitful sleeping
• Cleaning
• Feeling heartbroken

Topsy-turvy

Yesterday our intern was working on some items for the newsroom. Somehow she managed to flip her computer screen. Everything on the screen was upside down. Even the mouse moved in reverse. It took three people about 15 minutes to figure out how to fix it. She was mortified. We were laughing hysterically.


You may have to click on the picture to zoom in and see exactly what I'm talking about.

The REAL Myers-Briggs

ESFJ: The Control Freak
Champions of rule and tradition, defender of convention and order, the ESFJ values predictability, consistency, promptness, and continuity. This love of order, stability, and tradition most often manifests as a fanatical and almost compulsive control freakery, combined with an anal-retentive streak that is at once maddening and infuriating to those around them.
ESFJs are often friendly, outgoing, and generous, at least until you cross them. This generous nature, in combination with their obsessive need for control, makes them ideal for such jobs as Jedi master, senior bank teller, or middle management at a large chain department store. Most ESFJs die of heart attacks, at least the ones who aren't slain in a galactic power coup made possible by the rigid, dogmatic inflexibility and self-absorbed narcissism of their Jedi order.


RECREATION: ESFJs are fond of celebrating birthdays, bar mitzvahs, initiations into the grand order of the Golden Dawn, and other momentous occasions. They also take delight in creating elaborate schedules on their PDAs, memorizing the Periodic Table of Elements, and ripping off the heads of those who cross them before laying their eggs in the victim's neck, which hatch into larvae that devour the victim over a period of many years.


COMPATIBILITY: ESFJs are most compatible with ESTJs, who love and cherish the ESFJ's control freakery.


Famous ESFJs: Fame? A Jedi craves not these things!



Read more REAL personalities here.

Woot!

It's my brother's 21st birthday! Happy Birthday, Big Little Brother!

My Week: Blog Version

I bought 49 books for $12.00. The library was having a sale. And yes, I do go to the library.

I went to the Greek Festival. You've gotta love a festival that doesn't try to pretend that it's about anything other than the food. Really that's the whole reason for going to the Greek Festival. We had spanakopita, tiropita, souvlaki, gyros, loukoumades, baklava, kourambiedes, finikias and wine. Oh and we also peeked inside the Greek Orthodox Church for good measure between eating sessions.

Today I was walking out of a community building and passed by two little old ladies. I overheard one of the ladies say "Oh! She's wearing our earrings!" and the other old lady hollered after me and said both of them owned the same pair of earrings I was wearing. It made me seriously rethink my fashion choices.

I've been pondering all the suggestions for Wednesday blog material. I like Shanna's suggestion the best, but I'm afraid it will take too much research and dedication. But she does raise a very important question: are high-waisted pants REALLY going to make a come-back?

Sometimes you learn things on Facebook that you never dreamed you'd find out about in such a public forum.

Sometimes email is a very confusing medium and must be used with care. Especially when making offers that could entail dates, fake or otherwise.

Sometimes email is a wonderful medium. Especially when it indicates the sender is thinking of me and cares for my well-being and spiritual growth.

Sorry.

Feedback Requested

I need to think of some sort of recurring feature I can put on the blog on Wednesdays.

You see, Wednesdays are the days that I cover City Council. Which means Wednesdays are the days that my brain goes numb and I experience a dull pulsing sensation behind my eyes. These symptoms are coupled with long bouts of inactivity followed by frantic writing and recording of stories on a tight deadline. By 4:30pm, my story is done...and I am exhausted.

Which leads me back to my original point. I need some recurring blog material for Wednesdays. Any suggestions for something you'd like to see featured here on the QQ on a weekly basis?

Soldiering On

In my continued efforts to speed up the arrival of Autumn, I baked a loaf of banana bread last night and I decorated the front steps.

Looks rather Pottery Barn-ish, doesn't it? My offerings upon the altar of Autumn shall continue. I should probably bake some sort of spice cake soon. And maybe make some potato soup or chili and cornbread. It may be 90 degrees outside, but thankfully I have an active imagination and an effective air conditioner. I will celebrate Autumn whether or not she shows up for the party.

Feasting on Redemption

Wounded and forsaken,
I was shattered by the fall.
Broken and forgotten,
feeling lost and all alone.
Summoned by the King
into the Master's courts,
lifted by the Savior
and cradled in His arms.

I was carried to the table.
Seated where I don't belong.
Carried to the table,
swept away by His love.
And I don't see my brokenness anymore,
when I'm seated at the table of the Lord.
I'm carried to the table,
the table of the Lord.

Fighting thoughts of fear,
wondering why He called my name.
Am I good enough to share this cup?
This world has left me lame.
Even in my weakness
the Savior called my name.
In His holy presence,
I am healed and unashamed...

As I'm carried to the table,
seated where I don't belong.
Carried to the table,
swept away by His love.
And I don't see my brokenness anymore,
when I'm seated at the table of the Lord.
I'm carried to the table,
the table of the Lord.

You carried me, my God.
You carry me.

~Leeland

Need. More. Peppermint.

This morning I read this article.

I've just regained consciousness from my fainting fit and am heading to the store for peppermint-scented everything. One can never be too prepared.

Is it too much to ask to want a comfortable bed that won't hurt my back?
Food to fill me up and warm clothes and all that stuff?
Shouldn't I have this? Shouldn't I have all of this and passionate kisses?
Passionate kisses from you.


Is it much to demand to want a full house and a rock & roll band?
Pens that won't run out of ink and full quiet and time to think?
Shouldn't I have it? Shouldn't I have all of this and passionate kisses?
Passionate kisses from you.


Do I want too much? Am I going overboard to want that touch?
I shouted out to the night "Give me what I deserve cause it's my right!"
Shouldn't I have it? Shouldn't I have all of this and passionate kisses?

Passionate kisses from you.


~Lucinda Williams

Joining Forces

In an act of solidarity with Nancy, I am trying to coax the arrival of Fall, or as I like to call it, Autumn. Isn't Autumn a much more romantic name than Fall? I think that may be why Autumn is coyly holding back. She wants to be called by her real name.

I've also decided to start dressing and cooking as though Autumn were already here. Today I am wearing layers, in nice seasonal colors of muted blues and browns. I have a long sleeve blue bib-top blouse on and a 3/4 sleeve brown cropped sweater over it. It's very granola and very Autumn. It helps that my office is about 68 degrees.

And in a desperate act of supplication, I baked a Brown Sugar Pound Cake with Caramel Glaze. I brought it to the office today as an Autumnal offering.

I think I'll pick up a Pumpkin Spice Latte on my way home from work.

Identity Crisis

I've been wanting to blog about this for several days, but haven't had the time. Recently a friend sent out an email to all the women she knew. She was conducting an informal survey of her friends and wanted to know how many of us want to be stay-at-home moms. The question wasn't "ARE you a stay-at-home mom?" and it wasn't "do you think it's BEST to be a stay-at-home mom?" but rather "do you WANT to be a stay-at-home mom?".

I didn't even have to think about the answer to that one: YES!

I've known for a long time that I want a family and I want to be a homemaker. My mom always stayed home with my brother and me and I can see how that choice had an incredible impact on my life. I would love nothing more than to be able to do the same thing for my children. I've never been a very ambitious person. When I think of the future, I don't see myself in a high-powered career. I see myself washing laundry, cooking meals, teaching my kids, gardening, running errands etc...

As I read my friend's email, I started pondering how much I really do WANT to be a stay-at-home mom. I would say it is the most important dream I have for my future. I would even say it shapes my identity and what I believe about myself. But there are a lot of pronouns in that idea. "I want...MY future...MY identity" What if God's dream for my future doesn't include marriage, motherhood, homemaking? How will I respond to that?

Am I prepared to relinquish my dream and embrace God's plan, whatever that may be? I don't really have much choice, when it comes down to it. God's plan will prevail. The only choice I have in the matter is how I will respond to His plan. I can submit joyfully to whatever He has in store for me. Or I can grumble and become bitter, cynical and hardhearted.

Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." That verse is often used out of context to "prove" that if we love God, He will give us what we want. But what the psalmist is really saying is that if I delight in God then the desire of my heart will be God and He will fulfill that desire by giving me more of Himself.

The hard part about that is replacing my dreams with God alone. The great part about that is the promise of finding greater satisfaction in God than I ever could in my dreams.

Beauty

She sometimes thought herself pretty, but as she began to make a proper investigation, she found it was a changeable thing, beauty. No sooner did she locate it then it slipped from her grasp; instead of disciplining it, she was unable to refrain from exploiting its flexibility. She stuck her tongue out at herself and rolled her eyes, then smiled beguilingly. She transformed her expression from demon to queen.

This beauty, so brief she could barely hold it steady, would fade and expire, unsung, unrescued, and unrescuable.

~Sai, The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai

Randy Jackson Fixed My Doorbell

Yo, Dawg.

For real. Our doorbell has been broken ever since we moved into the place. My roomie has been meaning to call a repairman, but there's not much urgency about a broken doorbell so it hasn't been high on our list of priorities. But this week a couple of other things broke, namely the refrigerator and an electrical outlet. So she called the handyman and next thing we know, Randy Jackson has fixed our doorbell. And yes, he is a large black man.

p.s. The QQ wasn't updated yesterday due to an overload on the administrator's network (meaning I was incredibly busy). The QQ apologizes for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Blogger's Block

I can't think of anything good to blog about. I gave you some really solid blog entries this week, along with a very funny YouTube clip. I've exhausted my material. Or I'm just exhausted. One of the two. Anyway...lemme think...

thinking...

still thinking...

I had a banana for a snack this afternoon. It was good.

more thinking...

Yep. I've got nuthin'.

Have a good weekend.

Great TV Moments

Bathroom Music

You know how sometimes there's music playing in public restrooms? In yet another example proving that working at a public radio station is never ordinary, I walked into the ladies' restroom this afternoon and nearly bumped into an opera singer performing an aria from Carmen.

And when I say performing, I mean she was all-out singing at the top of her lungs. The music was soaring through the restroom and reverberating off the walls (there are some really great acoustics in there). She was also wearing a gypsy blouse and peasant skirt and was barefoot. She was definitely embracing the part.

I did what I had come to do...all while being serenaded with my own personal opera performance. I felt a little bad about flushing the toilet right in the middle of her song.

The Head Honcho

There is a giant disembodied head in the lobby of my station.

I can't believe I've worked here for more than five years and I've been blogging for more than two years and I have never shared this with you. I've told some people about it...sort of as an enticement to come visit me..."Hey, you should drop by the station. We have a giant Head." Few people have taken me up on the offer. The Head looms ominously in the front lobby, "welcoming" guests who arrive at our door. And it really is huge. It's composed of thousands of components associated with broadcasting - CDs, circuit boards, microphone elements, cables etc. I think it's a woman, but who can be sure? Perhaps if it acted moody and irritable at certain times of the month I would be able to tell. But the Head is silent. And disturbing.

I apologize for the poor qualities of the photos.

The backlighting behind the Head makes it difficult to take good photographs.

Do Not Pass Go

This story is not mine, it's actually my roommate's. I asked her permission to tell the story on my blog. I think you will appreciate it.

My roomie had lunch plans with a friend of hers on Saturday. Her friend was going to come over to our house around 12:30, eat lunch and spend some time catching up. Well 12:30 rolls around and no one shows up. My roomie assumes her friend is just running late, so she continues to wait patiently. Half an hour later, still no friend. So she calls...and gets voicemail. Hours go by and there's no word or communication from her friend. She is worried. Could there have been an accident? A hospitalization? It's uncharacteristic of her friend to be a no-show...and even more uncharacteristic to not hear anything. The whole day passes and my roomie is unable to get in touch with her friend or find out what is going on.

Late that night she gets a phone call from her friend. She missed the call. When she listened to the message, there was an explanation of what had happened to her friend...but much was still unclear. Here's how the message went:

"Hi, LL. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier...I just got out of jail. I'm ok. I'll talk to you soon."

The End.

Gah!

My morning started out a little hectic. Apparently my boss called me while I was in the shower. I didn't see that I had missed the call until about an hour later. I checked my voicemail and realized she wanted to change my assignment and send me to an event downtown...that started in ten minutes! I called her back and told her I had just received the message and was still at home and there's no way I could make it on time. She told me she needed me to be there - I should head out immediately and try to get there before the event ended.

So I grab my purse and my make-up bag (I hadn't even put on make-up yet) and flew out the door. Yes, I was that woman who is driving crazy and putting on her make-up at the same time. I arrived downtown, parked at a meter, jumped out of the car and rushed toward the Juvenile Courthouse.

Right as I walked up, I saw Harris County Judge Ed Emmett walking out. This is the guy I am supposed to interview! I run to catch up to him and breathlessly explain the situation. I think he thought I was a little loco. I ask him if he has a moment to stop and give me an interview. He graciously agrees. I pull out my microphone and start asking him a few questions. As he is answering, I glance down and nearly melt from embarrassment...I am wearing scruffy flip flops! He is wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase. I am wearing jeans and flip flops. I rushed out of the house so quickly that I didn't even think about what I had on...including the fact that I was wearing my house-shoes.
Horrors.

Comets and Kool-Aid

Here's a picture of me and the other members of the cult I have joined. We're working on plans to purchase an apple orchard and form our own commune. The really small guy in the orange shirt at the lower right of the picture is our leader. He has a tendency to babble and run around naked.

I'm blushing...

Transcript of an email I received last night:

Dear Sirs,

When Laurie Johnson speaks Spanish, particularly the names of traveling restaurants, it makes me want to give KUHF many pesos!
Do not hide this treasure any longer. I would appreciate a daily podcast of Ms Johnson reading restaurant names in Spanish.

Sincerely,
Pablo Taco
Keeper of many pesos

Classical Hip Hop

How did I miss this group? Dang.

Celebrity Sighting

Friday night I went to dinner with a bunch of my girlfriends. We met at an upscale Tex-Mex restaurant just around the corner from my house. The hostess seated us at our table. I sat down and glanced at the group directly across from us. That's when I realized I had just made eye contact with Jeff Bagwell! He was having dinner with his wife and several friends. We used Dinah's camera phone to snap a picture of him. I know the picture is fuzzy and you have to take my word for it...but it really is Jeff Bagwell.

If you could read my mind, Love,
what a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie
'bout a ghost from a wishing well
in a castle dark or a fortress strong,
with chains upon my feet.
You know that ghost is me.
And I will never be set free
as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see.

If I could read your mind, Love,
what a tale your thoughts could tell.
Just like a paperback novel,
the kind the drugstores sell.
When you reached the part where the heartache comes,
the hero would be me.
But heroes often fail.
And you won't read that book again
because the ending's just too hard to take.

I'd walk away like a movie star
who gets burned in a three-way script.
Enter Number Two:
A movie queen to play the scene
of bringing all the good things out in me.
But for now, Love, let's be real;
I never thought I could act this way
and I've got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong,
but the feeling's gone
and I just can't get it back.

If you could read my mind, Love,
what a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie
'bout a ghost from a wishing well
in a castle dark or a fortress strong,
with chains upon my feet.
But stories always end.
And if you read between the lines,
you'll know that I'm just trying to understand
the feelings that you lack.
I never thought I could feel this way
and I've got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong,
but the feeling's gone
and I just can't get it back.

~Gordon Lightfoot

The girl who liked ladybugs

This is the story of the girl who liked ladybugs. She would always see ladybugs everywhere she went. Some of them would fly and land on her, dancing across her shirt or riding on her finger. Others would peek out at her from behind a leaf or flower petal. She liked ladybugs and ladybugs liked her. Then one day, she was walking through a room in her house and one of her relatives called out after her "hey pretty ladybug" and the nickname stuck. Ever since then, people knew she was like a ladybug. Her co-workers called her Ladybug. Her boss called her Ladybug. Her friends called her Ladybug.



Then everyone started giving her ladybugs. Her collection grew and grew until her room was filled with ladybugs. "What am I going to do with all these ladybugs?" she thought. Then she had the perfect idea. She would decorate her office desk with them! And that is the story of the girl who liked ladybugs.

Tune in next week for the story of the girl who had a brooch.

Party of One

I just got dumped for a date. Over email. For another girl.

I'm now looking for a replacement date. I got replaced, so I should be allowed to do some replacing of my own. Any takers?

Please submit applications in person or by phone. No email or text applications will be accepted.

The X-Factor

I got my hair cut again last night. It's even shorter than it was last time. Now I'm waiting to see if I can recreate the magic and get hit on again.



p.s. what is it about pictures of people at their desks that is so fascinating? I know half a dozen of you are scrutinizing every item you can make out on my desk/shelves/computer screen. I point it out because I am guilty too.

It's Over

The long weekend is gone. Buh-bye. It was good while it lasted. It included:

One homemade blackberry pie
Two farmers markets
Three trips to the grocery store
Four parties
Five hours of football
Six hours of reading
Seven times I wanted to take a nap
Eight friends celebrating a TV
Nine croquet wickets
Ten friends eating pancakes