Gender Confusion

I placed my order at the counter.
"One grande non-fat, no whip, peppermint mocha twist please."

"What's your name?" the barista asked.

"Laurie," I replied.

A few minutes later I hear this:

"I have a non-fat peppermint mocha twist for...Larry."

Sigh.

A Sad Tale

My roommate recently took a vacation to Puerto Rico. She brought back a gift of coffee for me. A couple days ago, I decided to try the new coffee. I was a little disappointed. It had an odd flavor that I couldn't quite identify.

I tried it again the next day, thinking perhaps my taste buds were just "off." Nope. Still tasted weird. So yesterday I switched back to my old standby. I made a pot of coffee at 4am, poured it into my thermos, added cream and splenda and headed out the door on my merry way. I was a few blocks down the road when I took my first sip. What the?! That weird funky taste had invaded my old coffee beans too! That's when the truth dawned on me.

The cream had turned.

They're Baaack!

Quotable Quotes

My new favorite Starbucks quote:

The Way I See It #225

People don't read enough. And what reading we do is cursory, without absorbing the subtleties and nuances that lie deep within -- Wow, you've stopped paying attention, haven't you? People can't even read a coffee cup without drifting off.

~David Shore

I Heart Starbucks. Not.

Shoot me now. The Valentine's display it out at Starbucks. It looks like St. Valentine threw up in the store. Thanks Starbucks. I can officially feel depressed when entering any one of your 723 Houston-area locations. The place that was once a blissful haven of serenity will, for the next six weeks, serve as a torturous reminder of my lame, miserable, single existence. Happy frickin' New Year.