Friday, April 28, 2006

Friday

Friday is a good day to leave you pondering one of life's greatest questions. I got a package in the mail that I was really excited about (I knew it was a birthday present from a friend). I saw the box was marked "Sephora" which made it even better (for all you guys, Sephora is a high-end retailer of cosmetics). So here's the box.
IMG_0144
To give you an idea of the actual size of the box I placed a baseball next to it.
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Clearly the box is MUCH larger than a baseball. I am very excited about what might be inside the box. I open it to find a very cute Sephora giftbox inside.
IMG_0146
Can anyone see what the little note on the box says? It says "Happy Mother's Day." Awww, how sweet...wait a minute...that's not right. Oh well, hopefully one day...
So here's the smaller box next to the baseball.
IMG_0147
What could this darling, mother-present possibly contain? I open with breathless anticipation and pull back the tissue to find...
IMG_0149
The teeny-tiniest little case of lip gloss in the entire world. Each little tube is about half the size of my pinkie finger. The entire case is smaller than the palm of my hand. It's precious and it's attached to a keychain so I can carry it with me everywhere. But would someone please explain to me the irrational packaging and shipping phenomenon??? It could easily have been shipped in a padded envelope for a tenth the cost. Here's a picture of the whole collection.
IMG_0150
There you have it, talk amongst yourselves.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Fishy


I am going to eat sushi for the first time tonight. I am excited.
It's sort of like anticipating your first kiss. There's a whole lot of build-up and just a teeny bit of disappointment after the experience is over. Although, I don't plan to engage in first-time sushi-eating with first-time kissing. Kissing and fish breath is probably not the best combination.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Funny


Last night I had a dream that I met the family members of a friend of mine. We were in an airport because they were flying in for a visit. My friend and I walked into the airport and he pointed out his family to me...and they were hippies! All of them. Parents, siblings...the whole bunch. The dad had long, curly hair. The mom was wearing love beads and a tunic. They were all very granola. It was the most shocking and funny experience. Now I wonder what they really look like...

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Freaky

I just interviewed an eight-year-old kid who has so much going on in his personal life that he didn't have time for school. His parents enrolled him in an online school so he would have enough time for his piano lessons, drum lessons, children's symphony and golf. It is just sad to me when an adorable, freckle-faced boy tells me he just didn't have enough time in his day to fit everything in.

His mother says "He, at first, really missed going on the playground, but I think he's accomplishing so much more."

Fornication

You may be wondering about the title of this post. Well this entry is going to be about sex (sort of) and I felt I had to continue with the one-word titles beginning with the letter "f." I could only think of three words relating to sex that begin with an "f" and since this is a family blog...

So here's the deal. The Big Church Across the Street is advertising a series called...wait for it..."Great Sex-pectations." Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Aren't they clever?

Last Sunday was the first in the series and the pastor was (presumably) going to answer the question "who invented sex?". Of course, any woman could have told him men invented sex, but that is a whole other topic. I think he was probably actually going for the answer that God invented sex. I'm just guessing here, seeing as how I didn't actually attend the service or listen to his sermon.

This Sunday's sermon is titled "Sex: Why Wait?" and is sure to be the most unpopular in the series.

This morning The Big Church Across the Street aired a commercial about the Great Sex-pectations series, asking the question "Sex: What Does it Take?". Ummm, health class anyone? Anybody remember the answer to this question? At the end of the commercial, Pastor Smooth leans in toward the camera and says "join us this week as we talk about....(voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper)...Sexxxx." Ewww.

I know what you're thinking...okay Laurie, what's the point. My point is this: why do Christians feel they have to sell Christianity to get people in the door of the church? What happened to the good news that Christ Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose again to overcome death? When will we figure out that 12-step Christianity just doesn't work? When will we figure out that feel-good Christianity is misleading? What does sex have to do with the crucified Christ?

Let me be clear. I don't think there is anything wrong with pastors teaching Biblical truths about sex. I just get riled when Christians try to use these tactics to allure people into the church. It reminds me of 1st Thes. 1:3-4 "For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts" (emphasis added).

I know someone is probably going to misunderstand what I am trying to say or get upset with me. I know all the normal responses -- "God can use anything" "this could get someone into church" "sex is in the Bible" -- I know, I know. I just wonder why humans think they can come up with something better, more clever or more appealing than the Word of God which does not return void, but always accomplishes His purposes. Why use sex to sell the gospel when we've got the greatest story ever told of Jesus Christ. That should be enough.

Fabulous

Thanks to all the people who had suggestions for how to handle the current roach situation. Apparently Raid has many uses: kills roaches; kills flies; freshens carpets. And whoever had the idea of duct taping the cup to the floor was brilliant. That's what we did, sort of.

Dinah decided it would be a great idea to slide an index card under the cup, thereby enabling her to transport the roach out of her room. But she was afraid the index card would slip and allow the beast to escape. So she taped the edges of the cup to the index card and carried the whole thing to the trash. I freaked out. Although he was taped into a cup...there was a LIVE ROACH IN OUR TRASH CAN! Not to mention FOUR dead roaches scattered throughout the house (I found another one when I got home from work).

Fortunately for us, a knight in shining armor dropped by for a visit and vanquished our dragons (i.e. swept up the roaches and took the trash out). So our domicile is roach-free at the moment. Let the nightmare end.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Fantastic

This picture is from the sweep-up that the guys did a couple weeks ago...
The current body count at our house is at three...and rising. I found three dead cockroaches scattered throughout the house (one in the dining room, one in the kitchen and one in the atrium). The count is rising because Dinah found a LIVE one in her bedroom and trapped it under a cup. She put a bowl on top of the cup and Mr. Roach is theoretically sitting in there waiting for her to get home and figure out what to do with him. I have no idea how she managed to get close enough to him to set a cup down on top of him. Makes my skin crawl just imagining it.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Meditations

I am sitting at home surrounded by beautiful flowers and gifts -- evidence of how much I am loved. The sun is shining and there is a gentle breeze. The warm, sweet smell of freshly-baked brownies fills the house. Words of encouragement fill me; kind words speak of what my life means to other people. Joy fills the space. Although I am all alone, I look across the room and see people everywhere: people laughing and talking, people singing and joking, people engaged in intense conversation and others just listening. I soak up sounds -- vignettes. Just over there stands the sweet friend who loves me through everything. Oh, and look! Walking through the door is the one who believes I can accomplish anything! The one standing in the corner is the one who makes me want to be a better person. And here, here is the one whose good opinion of me means more than any other. I smile at the one who catches my eye and knows exactly what I am thinking. These are the moments I treasure. This is what makes life breathtakingly bittersweet. My heart overflows with happiness and sorrow. Every minute is precious and fleeting.

Friday, April 21, 2006

This Day Just Keeps Getting Better



I was going to post additional thoughts on kissing today, including the need for liqueur-flavored lip gloss, but instead leave you with more evidence of how great this day is. Laurie is turning into a squishy love-puddle as we speak!

Awwww


How sweet is this? Makes me all squishy...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Random Things

I am going to plagiarize Troy's concept of listing off observations and supply you with my own list of random things today.

1. I feel weird about my birthday
2. I don't feel weird about fun birthday cards, especially ones with roaches on them
3. Hair Dryers can spark hours of entertainment
4. Last night I "had plans" AND a boy bought my dinner
5. Two words: Sweetie Pie
6. For the next few weeks I plan to expand my vocabulary of military terms
7. There is no reason to craft your own underwear
8. Certain things should just NOT be part of the public domain
9. Car repairs are not fun
10. My day is all messed up because I can't dance in these shoes
11. Narnia Geeks ROCK!
12. My occasional lack of self-awareness can lead to startling observations (bouncing is not cool)
13. Two more words: Pirates and T-Shirts
14. I have the best job and boss in the world
15. Don't hate
16. Sometimes I glow in the dark

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

His Mercies are NEW Every Morning

I had every intention of continuing my "Dear Blog" entries this morning, but something too wonderful and miraculous happened this morning and I simply don't have anything silly to say. All I can think of is how truly amazing our God is! He has brought healing to a deep wound that I never thought would be healed. He is a God who binds up the broken-hearted! He is able to do immeasureably more than we ask or even imagine. Think about it...the Living God can do more than our imagination can even grasp! My imagination can take me a lot of places, but Immanuel, God With Us, can do so much more than that. He is Jehovah-Jireh...He provides all our needs according to His glorious riches through Christ Jesus. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Amen and amen.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Tuesday

Dear Blog,

It's another fabulous day in my life where everyone wants to be me. Sometimes my popularity and success is a heavy burden to bear, but I remind myself that I have to be glamorous and exciting for all the little people out there. I can't forget them. So I go on shouldering the burden of fame to bring light and happiness to all the people who only have normal lives.

Sometimes people think that because I am a glamorous radio reporter, life is always perfect. But it's not. For instance, right now my "service engine soon" light is on in my car. There's nothing perfect about that. In fact, my car has been acting funny for a while now. It does this weird thing when I accelerate where it sometimes starts shuddering and takes a while to increase speed. And yesterday it was just idling and it shuddered again and I thought the engine was about to die. So Blog, there's a lesson to be learned from this also: don't stop hanging out with boys because one of them might be able to fix my car. I guess I spoke too soon yesterday.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Monday

Dear Blog,

It seems like ages since I have written to you. I have to admit that last week I toyed with the idea of putting you away forever. But then I heard from my 2.7 readers (shoutout to Moms!) and I realized you and I have a relationship that can't be put aside that easily.

Well Blog, last week was interesting. Of course, my life is always interesting...when you're a glamorous radio reporter there's never a dull moment. I bet people want to be me. They are probably so tired of their boring, mundane lives. I wonder what it's like to be boring. I wouldn't know...

So last week a lot of people said interesting things to me.
On Tuesday a boy at work gave me the appreciative up-down look and told me I was "lookin' good." Then on Friday another boy told me I was beautiful -- but then he followed that up with a clarification that he meant that in a platonic way. Then on Saturday another boy told me I am one of the beautiful people and that he was stalking me. By the end of the week, I felt pretty...pretty confused that is.

On Monday a boy told me I am very easy to talk to. On Thursday another boy told me I am approachable and easy to talk to. Then on Thursday, the Monday boy told me I talk enough for the two of us. Friday boy told me I like to talk a lot and on Saturday another boy told me I talk too much. When I offered to Monday/Thursday boy that I could just be silent for the rest of the evening, he decided he liked my talking after all. And they say girls are confusing...

Listen Blog, there's a lesson to be learned from all of this: Stop hanging out with boys.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!

The pressure is just too intense. It would appear that I have reached my blogging pinnacle. I have been noted on Steven's blog as having one of the best blogs (based on frequency of posting). Do you have any idea what this does to me psychologically?! I am only 26 and I have already reached the top in my blogging career!

There's nowhere to go but down from here. I can't fail to disappoint. There will come a day when I will miss posting, and then it will all be over. My 2.7 readers will drift. Oh sure, at first they will check faithfully every hour to see if I've posted anything. But by the end of the day when they realize they're not gettin' any, they will turn to other blogs to fulfill them. My blog will be meaningless and abandoned. Gone will be the days of blog-comments. No more will I hear the words "Hey, I was reading your blog the other day." People will mock me. I will end up depressed, sad and lonely...just me and my 7 cats, knitting my days away in solitude.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I was wrong

The hearing didn't last until midnight. It lasted until 1am. I filed my morning version at 2am. The upside to working a 17 hour day is that my boss called me this morning (and woke me up) to tell me not to come in today.

On a serious note (yes Troy, I used the word "serious")...I saw an interesting lesson played out in this hearing. There was a simple reason for the extreme length of the hearing. It all came down to lack of leadership and effective authority. The chairman of the commission was supposed to hold each attorney to a certain time limit and enforce various rules throughout the proceeding. Instead, he just let the attorneys walk all over him and run the show. They kept running out of time and would just keep talking and he wouldn't make them stop. He allowed all sorts of comments to be made that should have been overruled. He attempted to be "fair" and ended up being weak. If he had been more forceful the hearing would have been carried out in a more judicial and timely manner.

The part that really struck me was that although the attorneys were running away with the show, they would have preferred a more structured hearing. They took advantage of the opportunity to do what they wanted. But it backfired on them by making the process so much longer and more difficult. How many times do we do that with God? We treat Him like a weak leader, like we think we know what is better for us and we don't have to listen to Him. We try to run the show and we end making everything more complicated and painful. God is not a weak, ineffective leader. But in our flesh we choose not to accept His authority and end up getting stuck in a miserable situation.

I pray I will have the humility to let the Lord lead, resting in the knowledge that He knows the schedule, the methods and the final decisions for my life.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

It Happened

Dinner. It was pizza. Matt is the best and ordered several large pies for all of us to share...then he paid for mine. Awww.
They gave us a 15 minute break, so we all rushed out into the snack room. It was like a shark feeding frenzy. There were journalists everywhere, all rushing toward the boxes of pizza, grabbing whatever they could get their grubby hands on. Everyone was eating and talking at the same time...it's not a pretty picture when you get a bunch of analytical, Type A, writer-geeks together in one room with food and caffeine and a limited amount of time in which to digest everything.

Now we're back in the hearing room, where we are enduring the cross-examination of witness #3. Councilwoman Alvarado is testifying that she had no knowledge of these bonuses and pay raises. She will likely be on the stand for at least another hour. Then we still have at least two more witnesses after that. At least. Joy.

The glamorous life of a reporter

For those of you who think I have a really cool job...well, I do. But sometimes it sucks. Like today. It is 6:08pm and I am sitting in a room at City Hall listening to a hearing into whether four city employees improperly received pay raises and bonuses. This hearing started at 9am...they didn't hear from the first witness until almost 1pm. All morning was spent arguing over procedures and whether certain documents could be submitted as evidence. We are currently hearing cross-examination of the second witness. That's two witnesses. Total. There are at least a half-dozen more. Which means we're lucky if this thing wraps up by 9pm. That's a generous estimate. Probably more like midnight. The part that makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a sharpened pencil is that I don't need to listen to all this testimony...all I need for the purposes of my report is a final decision. But that decision won't come until some time tonight. In the meantime, a reporter buddy of mine just stepped out to order pizza for us. We'll probably get a 15 minute break for dinner in about an hour. Woo hoo. After the decision comes, I will still have to do interviews and then put together a version for tomorrow morning. Then tomorrow I have a press conference at NASA at 9am...which means late night tonight, early morning tomorrow. Fantastic.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Shocker

This just in! Men like books about isolation and suppressed emotions and women like books about passion and inspiration! Who knew? My favorite graf from the article is this one: "The researchers also found that women preferred old, well-thumbed paperbacks, whereas men had a slight fixation with the stiff covers of hardback books." So many metaphors for life right there in that sentence.

Read the full story here.

I've got nothin' to say

Sorry everyone. Laurie's in a down mood today, so no funny stories. Here's how I'm feeling:

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I found no meaning.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I could save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

~James Blunt

Friday, April 07, 2006

I'm in luv

Mark this day on your calendars. April 7, 2006 is currently the bestest day ever! Let me explain why.

My day started at an ungodly hour. I had an early morning meeting to go to before work. After my meeting I went back home and had some down time before going to the office. I was looking forward to my assignment today. I was supposed to go to the Habitat for Humanity headquarters where they were going to surprise 25 families with the announcement that they were approved to get a Habitat home. These families are all Hurricane Katrina evacuees who have been hoping to settle in Houston and weren't sure if they were going to get approved for the housing. A nice, warm, squishy story. Totally feel-good Friday kind of piece where you get all teary-eyed just being there to see it happen.

So I was already feeling good when I walked into the building. I looked around to appraise the situation, make some mental notes about the room (podium up front, no mult box, bad acoustics etc...). Then I glanced over to where some TV cameramen were setting up and I saw him. There he was , just across the room, shining like a beacon of pure preciousness. The only other reporter in the room was ANDY CEROTA!

Now some people crush on George Clooney. I crush on Andy Cerota. Some people fantasy-date Josh Hartnett. I fantasy-date Andy Cerota. He is just the cutest ever! Can we say U.C.L.A.? I heart him!

We were the only reporters there. THE ONLY ONES! To fully understand the magnitude of this, I suppose I have to explain a little bit of journalism etiquette here. Usually TV reporters talk to TV reporters, radio reporters talk to radio reporters, cameramen talk to everyone and newspaper reporters talk to no one. Sometimes there's some cross-pollination, if you will, but usually that's the pattern. The exception to this is when there's a small number of reporters in the room. Then everyone bonds together and forms one big, happy family. Which means...you guessed it. Andy and I are now tight. We chatted, we laughed, we made jokes, we whispered little comments during the press conference, we engaged in non-verbal communication (i.e. the eyebrow lift, the sideways glance, the hidden half-smile).

Can I just say...he smelled really good. Yes, we were that close. Sigh.

Cubans are Cute

I got two emails from people I met in Cuba this week. I haven't posted them before because I didn't have them translated. They are so sweet and encouraging. The first is from a girl I met on the college retreat named Lili. She and I really connected and spent a lot of time talking over the course of three days. (She's the one who introduced me to my Cuban boyfriend.) :) Lili is studying to be a doctor and has an interview with American officials about the possibility of moving to the U.S. Her interview is later this month. We also discovered that her birthday is just a few days before mine. We hung out a lot and had a great time just being together. Pray for her faith to be strengthened and nurtured and for her possibility of coming to the U.S. Here's her email (translated into English).

"Dear Laurie, we miss you so much. All of you have had a great impact in our hearts. If God willing, I hope to see you again one day. Keep your faith in God because only He can make anything possible. Help the people in need and each day you will take a step forward. I'd never want to lose this friendship. When you see the other people from the group tell them that they are very special because with you guys I learned that we must give our lives to God and that's what you all do. Thank you for being who you are, God has good things in store for you just put yourself in His hands.
"To cultivate life as a community requires humility."
I wish that you be very blessed by God, a friend Lili."

The other email I got this week was from Yalien. He was this guy who just seemed absolutely fascinated with our whole group. He could barely speak any English at all and would force one of his friends to follow him around everywhere and translate conversations with us. He gave me his phone number which cracked me up because it's not like phone calls to Cuba are a piece of cake and it would be pretty darn difficult to talk to him over the phone considering we don't speak the same language. Here's his email (also translated).

"Well you told me I could write to you in spanish and I will but if you prefer for me to do it in english, I could try. How are you? I haven't been able to write but this is an opportunity to test it and if it works then I will write to you with more patience. I have a lot of things to tell you and share with you but I have to go to class.

A kiss and write to me,
Yailen"

Now here's the really cool part about this whole emailing thing. I speak a little Spanish, but not enough to fully translate these emails. So I have been asking a co-worker of mine to help me. She is not a Christian, but she is translating for me and reading the comments about God etc. When she first translated Lili's email her reaction to it was "this is so sweet!". So I am praising God not only for the opportunity to write to my friends in Cuba, but also the ministry to my co-worker. Pray that her heart would be softened toward the things of God and that He would use these emails to create opportunities to share the gospel.

Gloria a Dios!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

I Don't Kiss and Tell

Okay, well...maybe I do. But the point is there are frequently soooo many things that I want to blog about but I can't blog about. Sometimes it's more than I can stand. Which is why you will occasionally see something questionable on my blog. So here I give you a list of subjects in no particular order which are associated with recent stories or conversations. Some may seem obvious, but you really don't know what they mean. I want to blog about all of them. I just can't.

Placentas
BLANK IS DATING BLANK!!!
Men in Spandex
Tampons
Slow-growing toenails
Not at all, bad timing, too early
I'm going to slit my wrists and...
Honorable Gentleman
Dishonorable Player
Hot Mocha seeks Iced Caramel

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My Life is an Acid Bath

My hate-hate relationship with roaches is well-known and documented. If possible, my hate for them has increased over the past few days. Join me in my vendetta against them.

It all started last Wednesday with what I thought was going to be a truly wonderful day. The pest control people came out to spray the house on Wednesday afternoon (thanks for the tip Moms!). I breathed a sigh of relief just knowing that the poison was seeping through and spreading death in my house. I realized I would probably see a few dead roaches here and there for a couple days. Little did I know the revenge they would exact upon me.

It started Thursday evening. The fabulous three had some girls over for dinner. As we were sitting around the dining room table I heard someone gasp. I immediately realized what must be happening and jumped up on my chair. At that moment a cockroach ran out FROM UNDER THE DINING TABLE and ran across the room. He had been lurking under there...where our feet were. I was barefoot even! Kristen grabbed some paper towels and crushed him as I screamed from atop the chair. I wasn't really comfortable for the rest of the evening.

Friday morning comes around and Kristen finds FOUR dead ones scattered around the house. Well good, at least they're dying.

Saturday evening I have a friend over for dessert. I prepare some freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies to make cookie sundaes. She arrives and I give her a tour of the hellhole. The tour lasts approximately 15 minutes, after which we go back into the kitchen to serve dessert. I am standing in front of the tray of cookies, warming up the fudge sauce in the microwave. I reach out to pick up a cookie and nearly faint in the process. There is a HUGE roach ON MY COOKIES!!! He is raping the sanctity of my cookies. It was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. He looked at me and laughed as he violated my cookies. Then he ran into our stove! Kristen turned on the burners and the oven in the hopes that we could fry him.

Sunday is roach-free. Praise God.

Monday I get home from work and find dead roaches everywhere. I am incapable of picking them up and my roommates decide they can't handle it either. So I send cry for help to a friend. Here's what the text said: "I need your help! There are SIX dead cockroaches in the house. I am frightened." My friend calls me immediately to see how bad the situation is. Turns out he is watching the NCAA championship game and isn't really in the area. So I decide to move on to my next victim, err, I mean friend. Another text message goes out. A desperate plea for assistance. By this time ANOTHER dead roach is found which brings our count up to seven. I get a call back and tell my friend about the predicament. He starts laughing at me because I can't even get my thoughts out in complete sentences. He puts me on speaker phone so the other person in the room can laugh at me too. I am not amused. He takes me off speaker phone and tells me he will be there in about 15 minutes. I feel a little better.

As I wait for him to arrive I decide I need a calming influence. I sit on my bed and open my Bible. I am there for about five minutes when I hear a slight rustling sound and notice some movement out of the corner of my eye. I look to my left and there is a GIANT cockroach CRAWLING UP MY CURTAINS JUST INCHES FROM MY HEAD!!!! I literally scream and fly off the bed and out of the room, clutching my Bible and starting to cry. My roommates come running and they don't see the beast right away. I am jumping up and down in the hall pointing at the curtains, trying to communicate the horror of what is happening. Finally they see him and go on the offensive. He drops onto my bed (shudder) and starts running around on my bed before jumping down to the floor. He is now scurrying on the floor in my room and Kristen shouts for someone to hand her a shoe. All three of us are screaming. Dinah grabs a shoe off my shoe rack (my second favorite pair) and Kristen beats him to death.

I am hyper-ventillating in the hall, still clutching my now crumpled and bent Bible. We all start laughing/crying and begin to settle down. I glance back into my room and realize HE IS NOT DEAD. The roach has resurrected and is attempting to make his getaway. I start screaming again and run into the bathroom to grab a can of Raid. Dinah sprays him and he starts twitching and convulsing. We leave the room again. Next thing I know, he is making ANOTHER getaway. Dinah sprays him into oblivion and I run downstairs hoping desperately for my friend to show up and rescue me from this nightmare.

My friend knocks on the door about five minutes later. He has arrived and he brought back-up. The two men go through the house, sweeping up cockroach carcasses. They end up with piles of roaches...they lose count. Then they go into my room to collect the bodies from in there. We think the beast is under my armoire. One of them leans down to look under and tells me my carpet smells really good, like Febreze. I inform him that he's smelling Raid. They can't find the roach. He's like the Houdini of vermin. After much searching, he is discovered burrowed under a corner of my comforter on the floor. I plan to burn my comforter tonight.

Finally all the bodies are removed from the premises and after much consolation and counseling from the two knights-in-shining-armor, I am calmed down enough to sit on the furniture and start normal breathing patterns.

I am going apartment hunting tomorrow...in Siberia. I am told they don't have roaches there.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Fairest Lord Jesus

Fairest Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature
O Thou of God and man the Son;
Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor
Thou my soul's glory, joy and crown.

Fair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands
robed in the blooming garb of Spring.
Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer
Who makes the woeful heart to sing.

Fair is the sunshine, fairer still the moonlight
and all the twinkling starry hosts.
Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer
than all the angels heav'n can boast.

Beautiful Savior,Lord of all nations,
Son of God and Son of man!
Glory and honor, praise, adoration
now and forevermore be Thine.

You are fairer still today.
Precious Jesus, Lord you are adored
as we worship. We worship.