Thursday, January 28, 2010

To Dad

All in all it wasn't bad
All in all it wasn't good, but I still care

That's the problem with the days
They're never long enough to say
What it is you never said
All the books you never read

I throw myself into the wind
Hoping somebody might pick me up and carry me again

Where are you now? Do you let me down?
Do you make me grieve for you?
Do I make you proud?
Do you get me now?
Am I your pride and joy?

I believe this to be true
There's nothing sacred, nothing new
No one tells you when it's time
There are no warnings, only signs

And you know that you're alone
You're not a child anymore, but you're still scared

All your mountains turn to rocks
All your oceans turn to drops
They are nothing like you thought
You can't be something you are not

Life is not a looking glass
Don't get tangled in your past, like I am learning not to

Where are you now? Do you let me down?
Do you make me grieve for you?
Do I make you proud?
Do you get me now?
Am I your pride and joy?

Monday, January 25, 2010


My coworkers were just having a conversation about our aging relatives. My grampa recently was ill, but is now recovering. One of my coworkers shared that his grandmother's health has greatly improved, but her mind has slipped. Now she has a habit of sharing a little too openly about her past.

One day the family was together and gramma (who was 83 at the time) started talking about some of her boyfriends from when she was young. She concluded her story with a big sigh and said "I miss having sexual relations."


Friday, January 22, 2010

What's in a name?

I've been thinking about changing my on-air name. It would be nice to have a little more anonymity when in public and not have to worry about protecting my identity. I was thinking of something hyphenated...that way my radio listeners will just think it's my married name and it won't be too confusing for people.

What do y'all think of Laurie Anderson-Mabie Warner...? Too wordy?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Do I KNOW you??!

I've been pretty stressed lately and decided I needed a day of self-nurturing on Monday. I spent the day doing things that make me happy and spending time with people who encourage me. I decided the perfect wrap-up to the day would be a massage.

I made an appointment at a location I hadn't been to before and looked forward to a relaxing and soothing experience.

I got there, checked in, met the massage therapist and settled in. She asked me a few questions about where I was tense and what my trouble spots were. She then asked me if I ever grind my teeth. "No, I don't think so," I said. "Do you clench your jaw?" she asked. "Oh, yes. Yes, sometimes I do clench my jaw when I'm concentrating," I replied. "Ok, I'm going to give you a small facial massage and work on your jaw if that's ok." "Yes, that's fine."

There I am, on the table, breathing in the aromatherapy lavender scents, eyes closed, waiting for her to work her magic. "Open your mouth and relax your jaw," she says. I obey.

And she promptly shoves her finger in my mouth and pushes hard into the joint where my lower and upper jaws connect! "How does that feel?" she murmurs. Ummm....awkward and uncomfortable, I'm thinking. Out loud "uhhh...iss ok I guessh...ish difficult to shay how thish feels," I slur, talking around the probing digit.

I don't think I'll try that again.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


This post may not be suitable for all audiences. Namely, guys. Well, actually I'm pretty sure you guys can handle it...but I wanted to put the disclaimer out there just to cover my...ahem...bases.

Chalk this up under the heading of Things You Do NOT Want to Hear When Meeting Your New Gynecologist: "Ok, regarding sexual activity...let me just look over your paperwork here...oh wait...are you THE Laurie Johnson?! I listen to you every day!"

Let's just say there are some places where I prefer NOT to be recognized.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The QQ Welcomes Guest Bloggers

A guest blogger contributed today's entry. He asked to remain anonymous, although I informed him that if he allowed me to post his name I'm pretty sure he'd never get shot down again.

I have to be honest and say it's extremely humbling to post his entry because I know how far I fall short of his list. Nevertheless, I give you the following from an amazing guest blogger.

10 Things that are Great about Single Christian Women

  1. They care about modesty.
  2. They want the men in their lives to be leaders and they genuinely want to follow them.
  3. They say no to a lot of dates. Nobody knows why, they just do, get over it.
  4. They are really sweet when they shoot you down.
  5. They are servants.
  6. They are patient in waiting for a husband.
  7. They take care of the children, elderly, and men in the church.
  8. They love to cook for the men in their lives.
  9. They hold the men in their lives accountable.
  10. They don't settle.