Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Boyfriend Material?

We've long established that I don't have a boyfriend (see wish list). But yesterday I had an opportunity to get myself a boyfriend. However, I think my suitor makes for much better blog material than boyfriend material. Here's the story.

I've been having car problems. So I took my car to the repair shop right around the corner from my house. Throughout the process of describing the problem and filling out the paperwork, the guy who was helping me was clearly flirting with me. I didn't think much of this at the time and tried to maintain a friendly, but not encouraging, manner. Then I asked how long the repairs would take and he said it would be several hours.

Shop Guy: I'll give you a ride to your house so you don't have to wait here.
Me thinking: Uh oh. I don't want to ride anywhere with this guy, let alone have him know where I live.
Me out loud: Uh, thanks. But I live right around the corner and the weather is so pretty, I'll just walk home.
Shop Guy: No, no, I can't let you walk home. I'll give you a ride and then pick you up when your car is ready.
Me: It's not a big deal, I live less than two blocks from here.
Shop Guy: Perfect, I'll have you home in no time.
Me: Sigh. Thanks.

Two minutes later in car...

Shop Guy: So which way do I go?
Me: Turn right here at this intersection.
Shop Guy: Straight?
Me: No, turn right.
Shop Guy: Ok, go straight.
Me as we drive straight through the intersection: Uh, that was the turn to my street right there.
Shop Guy: That's ok. We're going the scenic route via Galveston. (Smiles and winks)
Me: (Nervous laugh) Well you can take the next right.
Shop Guy: You in a hurry to get home? I was thinking we could drive for a little bit and enjoy the day. I don't get to leave the shop all day, this is my only chance to get out.
Me: As long as I'm home in the next five minutes that's fine.
Shop Guy: You're funny. You single? Looking?
Me: Single, yes. Looking, depends.
Shop Guy: Depends on what?
Me thinking: Play the Christian card. That'll shut him up.
Me out loud: Well the biggest reason it depends is because of my faith. I'm Christian and deeply committed to my faith. So that's the most important thing to me.
Shop Guy: I'm Muslim-Catholic. Trying to cover all the bases.
Me: How's that working for ya?
Shop Guy: I'm kidding. I'm actually Maronite. It's a very strict form of Catholicism. Lots of rules, like no sex before marriage. Doesn't work for me. What do you think of that?
Me thinking: Warning! Danger! Get me out of this car!
Me out loud: I think a lot of rules aren't really the best way to please God, but I think no sex before marriage is wonderful. It's honorable to your future spouse and it's obedient to God's word.
Shop Guy: No, it's no good. You gotta figure out what you like. Try someone out before you commit.
Me: I don't think so.
Shop Guy: How old are you?
Me: 28
Shop Guy: So you're telling me you're 28 years old and you've never had sex?! Seriously, are you a virgin?
Me thinking: We're only 7 minutes into this car ride and he's already asking me about my sexual experience!
Me out loud: That's right. I'm a virgin and it is very important to me to honor God by remaining pure until I'm married.

Pulling up in front of my house...

Me: Well, thanks for the ride.
Shop Guy: Sure. I'll call you when your car is ready. And I'll look forward to picking you and bringing you back to the shop this evening to get your car.
Me with straight face: I can hardly wait.

Several hours later...

We went through the whole routine again. Another "scenic" route to the shop. More discussion about dating, sexual activity, religion and life in general. It ended with me getting my car, driving home and realizing that although that shop is two blocks from my house, it's not worth the emotional strain to be a repeat customer.

UPDATE: Shop Guy just texted me! He must have looked up my cell number on my paperwork. Ok...feeling a little vulnerable.


Carissa said...

Heebie jeebies! So sorry you had to go through that! It's times like that that I am very thankful I can just say, "I'm very happily married."

gL said...

Way to stick to your guns!

Troy said...

You should use the shop that I go to. They give you free wine.

Ulovebeth said...

Laurie, I think you might need an alarm system. And I always keep a wedding band handy or quickly think up a boyfriend, if necessary. I've never had to have pretend kids, but with this guy, you maybe should have told him you were a Muslim/Catholic nun.

Nancy Mon said...

This is really creepy and really scary. You might need to change a whole bunch of things...

Phil said...

Laurie, You should call the manager and inform him of the incident, Pronto. I was a bit worried when he didn't turn. Of course had something else happened to you, you might not have been able to post this. (You might be able to get your car repaired for the price of this yahoos job or at least what he will be making during "Job Transition")

Sarah said...

Oh Laurie, I am SO GLAD you are okay!! I totally agree; you need to tell his manager what he did. That is EXTREMELY inappropriate!

Arshunda said...

In a word: INAPPROPRIATE. In a few more words: maybe my mom was right about single women needing to carry a fork in their purses for times like this. I agree that the guy's manager needs to know. Or maybe have an expose on NPR...

Ulovebeth said...

Arshunda, I've had a fork in my purse for the last month because I left it there after I was eating or something. I've been wondering why I still have been carrying that thing around. Now I know! :)

gL said...

You really need to report that now... this is getting serious!

dr dizzle said...

Totally worse (in a scary way) than any of my stalker tales. I think you should (blah, blah, blah, etc.) and then do whatever you think is right, as you know the details better than we do.
Oh, and perhaps a small rocket-launcher in your bag might help!