Monday, December 10, 2007

The Worst

I love Christmas music. I'm one of those people who would listen to Christmas music all year, if my friends and family would let me. I get all excited about the radio stations that start broadcasting Christmas music right after Thanksgiving. Some of the songs are so beautiful, both lyrically and musically. But I will be the first to admit there is some really, truly awful Christmas music out there. And when I hear certain songs come on the radio, I scream and change the station as quickly as possible. So today I give you my personal list of the worst Christmas music. Tomorrow I will attempt to make peace with all of you by providing my list of the best Christmas music.

Top Five WORST Christmas songs:

5. Same Old Lang Syne
If you haven't heard this song, be grateful. It starts out with the line "Met my old lover in the grocery store" and it goes downhill from there. Nothing says warm, fuzzy Christmas cheer like a song about drinking a six pack with your ex- while trying to drown the emptiness inside.

4. Feliz Navidad
Ok, this one really isn't all that awful. Until you realize it has sucked out your brain and replaced your grey cells with liquid goo capable only of humming that one line over and over and over and over and...

3. Wonderful Christmastime
Not the synth! Agghhh!

2. Christmas Shoes
This was a tough call. Should Christmas Shoes be considered the worst Christmas song of all time? Many say yes. I am inclined to agree with them. That is, until I asked myself which I would prefer: being forced to listen to Christmas Shoes on repeat for the rest of my life until I could bear it no longer and attempt suicide in a miserable desperate cry for help OR being forced to smile and pretend to be happy while listening to the following song...

1. Happy Birthday Jesus
Make. It. Stop.

6 comments:

bbrown said...

brilliant.

Phil said...

Thanks Laurie,
I was hoping to get through the day WITHOUT happy birthday Jesus, not that I dont think we should celebrate his birth but with out that song. Now I will have that tune going through my head all night long.

Jen said...

I would have to add The 12 Days of Christmas to this list as well. It gets an automatic how-fast-can-i-change-the-station?! #1 and #2. Yes.

gL said...

I don't think I have heard Christmas shoes before... but then again I don't listen to christmas music all that much... I do kind of like the Christmas Carol song... though it is kind of cheesy. I highly recommend Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong album if your looking for something good.

Anonymous said...

The Worst? and you leave out "Grandma got ran over by a reindeer".

Nancy Mon said...

The guy who sang number 5 on this list died on Sunday the 16th, Dan Fogelburg or whatever his name is. I watched a video of his song and all these years I never could discern all the words. When I sang along with it on the radio, of course I was singng my version. Dead or not, it still is one of the worst songs at Christmas.