Thursday, November 01, 2007

Get the Sensation

When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I get the cool sensation of hiking to the peak of Mt. Everest and soaring down to the bottom by parachute while taking in the glorious views all around me only to realize someone else packed my chute and the idiot messed it up and now the chute won't release and I'm hurtling down thousands of feet while shrieking blood-curdling screams and wetting myself and I just desperately want my mommy but I'll never see her again and I'll never get to hear the words "I love you" or have children or grow old with someone and any minute now my body will be nothing more than a pile of pulp lost somewhere on the side of the mountain where no one will ever find it and 100 years from now a Sherpa will discover my skeleton and someone will write a novel about me based on how they think I may have died but no one will ever know it was Death by Peppermint Pattie.


Ulovebeth said...

Good grief, Charlie Brown. ;)

Got any more of those patties?

Alyssa said...

I know that's not the longest sentence ever, but I think it may be the longest sentence I've ever seen you write. ;)

Dana said...

But what a fabulous way to go!