Scandalous

I spent some time with Guy #2 last night. We had dinner together and then we went on a little evening road trip. I won't go into details, but at one point I had to tell him I wouldn't go skinny dipping with him.

March of the...

Penguins. Apparently I make people think of penguins. Remember this from way back when? I thought that was all behind me. Until yesterday. Troy sent me a link to an article he saw. It was about a prehistoric penguin. Scientists estimate the ancient bird stacked up to about five feet tall.

Troy: "I was amazed at a 5-foot penguin. I mean that is a huge bird!"
Me: "Seriously. Kinda scary, actually."
Troy: "Then I was thinking 'about how tall would a 5-foot penguin actually be?' and I thought of you."

Wow. I have no words...

Conflict Resolution

I did something very bad to my knee. I don't remember having anything against that knee. But for whatever reason, my knee is angry with me. I exacerbated the situation by slipping in the shower and nearly destroying my ability to walk. It was an accident, but now my knee won't even speak to me. Talk about holding a grudge. Geez. I told a friend about the falling out I had with my knee.
His response: "Well, Laurie, you're not 20 anymore."

My eyeballs hurt

I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning every day this week. 3:30!!! Which leaves me with a serious dilemma. Should I take a nap this afternoon and then stay up a little later, i.e. 9:30ish? Or should I stick it out and try to stay awake until this evening and go to bed around 8pm?

My brain says "don't nap, just go to bed early." My body says "are you freakin' kidding me?! I'm exhausted!"

What a predicament.

Sabbath Prayer

A Blessing on Daughters~ The Fiddler on the Roof

May the Lord protect and defend you,
May He always shield you from shame,
May you come to be, in Israel, a shining name.
May you be like Ruth and like Esther,
May you be deserving of praise,
Strengthen them O Lord, and keep them from the stranger's ways.

May God bless you and grant you long life,
May God fulfill our sabbath prayer for you.
May God make you good mothers and wives,
May He send you husbands who will care for you.

May the Lord protect and defend you,
May the Lord preserve you from pain.
Favor them, O Lord, with happiness and peace,
O hear our sabbath prayer
Amen.

Treachery

Last night, I lured Guy #2 over with promises of a home-cooked meal. After I enticed him with shrimp pad thai, I ensnared him with chocolate cake. Then I sent him home. With a bag of garbage.

Stayin' Alive

Yesterday after work I had to head out to Katy for a family dinner. The traffic was awful. I was listening to Damien Rice on my iPod.

Bad traffic + Sad music = Depressing commute.

Fortunately for me, Guy #2 called at just the right moment.

Me: Hey!
Him: Hey, are you still in your car?
Me: Yes, why?
Him: Tune your radio to 99.1
Me: Seriously?
Him: Yeah, 99.1. I want you to share a moment with me.
Me: Um, ok. Hang on...I have to find it. Do you often listen to 99.1?
Him: You're going to be glad...just tune in. This is going to make your commute better.
Me thinking: How does he do that?! I never told him I was having a rough commute.
Me out loud: Oh my gosh, I just tuned in. That is awesome!
Him: I know, right? There's nothing like a little disco to brighten your day.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please enjoy the following video as a recreation of the radio moment Guy #2 shared with me.

She puzzed and she puzzed til her puzzler was sore

A friend recently complained about a lack of entertaining content on the QQ. I wanted to make many sarcastic comments in reply. But I refrained and took the criticism as it was intended: a compliment upon the standard of "excellence" on this blog and a concern over the implication that I may be losing my passion for the medium.

Fear not, gentle readers! I still love maintaining the QQ and I have no intentions of leaving the blogosphere any time soon. The problem lately is one of perspective. I have to balance that which my audience will find entertaining with that which is appropriate to share in the public domain. This can be tricky. Furthermore, there just aren't that many funny or entertaining things happening to me of late. I seem to be in a dull season of life. The most exciting thing that has happened to me today is that I balanced my checkbook. Important, yes. Blog-worthy, no.

I've been brain-storming different things I could blog about. One thing that comes to mind is my on-again/off-again relationship with Guy #1. He's been in and out of the picture for weeks now. But no one wants to be bored by the petty details of my love life, or lack thereof.

I could blog about my new abode. But the excitement of installing a thermostat pales in comparison to the former thrills and chills of the hellhole.

I could blog about my travels, but I haven't had any.

I could blog about Tom, but he's been in Korea and hasn't had any new adventures for me to chronicle.

I could blog about creepy stalker guys, but they've abandoned me.

I could blog about the PP, but I've been too busy lately to make any progress on it.

Or I could blog about pretty much nothing, and turn it into a fairly long blog entry. Hmmm. Brilliant.

Yikes! My Dad is wearing Bling!

My dad is usually very hard to shop for. He doesn't have any hobbies. Seriously. Not one. He doesn't do anything. Seriously. I mean it. He doesn't go anywhere. Seriously. Nowhere. I'm not exaggerating.

So this year I was really excited when my brother told me that my dad made a special request for a Father's Day gift. Dad saw a ring that he really liked and told my brother that's what he wanted. In fact, he wanted it so badly that he reminded my brother about it nearly every day and would frequently ask whether it had been purchased yet. My brother told me he would go get the ring and we could go in on it together. I was so relieved to not have to come up with a gift idea.

Then I saw the ring...
I think the picture speaks for itself.

Friday Funnies: Final Edition

Things that made me laugh this week:

"They're probably thinking we're gay."

"I'm more freaked out about my hair than anything else. God will give me the words to say, but I feel responsible for bad hair."

"If I were a girl I'd be pregnant all the time...cuz I just can't say no."

"We should get coffee or something...maybe I could be Guy #542635."

"I did NOT want to get out of bed this morning, and you weren't helping."

Engrish

My roommate just got back from a two-week mission trip to China. I got home late last night to find she left two souvenirs in my room for me. One was an adorable little green teapot. (Troy, no jokes.) The other was a small plastic package with a piece of cloth inside. Huh? I couldn't figure that one out until I noticed the small print. There are several Chinese characters on the package and underneath them is the English translation which reads like this:

"Hygiene Wet Turban Needless Wash"

It took me a little while to figure it out, but in other words:

"Disposable Sanitary Moist Towelette"

Smiling

I just got a four-word email from a friend that totally made my day.

"I heart you, Laurie."

Sometimes a simple little sentence makes all the difference.

Testing the Waters

I'm thinking of discontinuing the Friday Funnies...
Just thought I'd put that out there...
Don't hate...

The Rare and Elusive Serious QQ Blog Post

Last week was pretty rough for many reasons. Emotionally, physically and spiritually I was a bit of a mess. It all kind of culminated over the weekend. On Saturday I felt like crud and on Sunday I was moody and mentally all over the place.

But God, in His eternal faithfulness, reminded me how intimately He knows me and how sweet His love is for me. He reminded me how blessed I have been to be able to minister to others. He allowed me to truly accept praise from others for my own acts of service and to receive with grace and humility an act of heart-felt service from a friend. He taught me how tender and humbling it can be to allow someone else to take care of me. He gave me the wisdom and strength to comfort others and He sent others to comfort me. And He assured me that He has not forgotten me and He will never forsake me.

So this week I am still emotionally, physically and spiritually a mess. I always will be. And God always will be able to handle that.

Friday Funnies

Things that made me laugh this week:

"I've been sleeping with dogs. Literally."

"I had several parties in my mouth."

"I do crazy things when I'm in the Spirit."

"I haven't cuddled with an XY in years."

Me, Myself and I

Today...

I like the shoes I'm wearing.

I don't like my hair.

I don't have much work to do.

I'm okay with that.

I'm in pain.

I'm unsettled.

I don't know why.

I'm waiting for people to call me.

I'm not looking forward to taking the calls.

I feel sort of sad.

I'm okay with that.

I'm hungry.

I'm too tired to go get something to eat.

I need a hug.

I want a kiss.

I won't get either.

I still don't like my hair.

I want to jump in a puddle.

I think about myself too much.

I don't have anything else to blog about.

The Single Life

Everything I want to blog about right now is confidential, off-limits or too juicy for the blog.
It's killing me.

Complimentary Parking

I had lunch with a hot guy today. Ladies, he's available. Let me know if you want his number. Or better yet, let me know if you want me to give him your number.

But back to my point.

There was a cute shiny car parked next to ours and he accidentally dinged the door. Upon which he informed me he had a compliment for me and a large group of women (which is better than having a compliment for me and a group of large women, but again I digress).

He said dinging the car reminded him of something God was asking him to submit himself to. Which in turn reminded him of something he appreciates about me and many other women he knows. He said it's very pleasant, exciting and attractive to see Christian women who allow and even encourage the men around them to take the lead. He noted how difficult it can be to submit to God's will and acknowledged how it must be difficult for women to submit, not only to God, but to the men of the Church as well. He expressed gratitude and appreciation for the women who so willingly submit to, follow and serve with the men around them.

Then he said I could feel free to let other women know how much men appreciate these qualities.

He also said I should make him look really good when I blogged about him.

The Intimidator

I had an interesting conversation with a guy friend on Saturday. We were talking about the reasons that some women may be particularly intimidating to men. For example, many men are intimidated by incredibly beautiful women. They may consider the woman to be "out of their league" or simply presume they'll get shot down if they ask her out. After all, why would a goddess want to go out with a mere mortal?

There's another group of women that can be intimidating. It's the girls who are strong-minded, independent thinkers with clear opinions. They're women who aren't afraid to speak their minds. They don't back away from debate and are willing to challenge others. This can be very intimidating. I told my friend I suspect I fall into this group.

He quickly set me straight. "Actually," he said, "when I first met you, I wasn't intimidated by you. I just got the impression that you knew exactly what you were looking for...and I wasn't it."

Wow. Just what I need. Apparently I give the impression that all you guys should just go ahead and eliminate yourselves from being candidates because if you don't, then I will.

Friday Funnies

Things that made me laugh (last) week:

"I've never been called a wench before."

"If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?"

"I can stop the Tom-train before it even leaves the station."

Me: "Ok. You win."
Him: "Troy=9 Laurie=1,437. I'm gaining on you."