This past weekend, I had dinner with a good friend and her family. They aren't a family I spend very much time with, so it was nice to get to know them a little better and find out more about their stories and family dynamic.
During the course of the evening, my friend's mother questioned me multiple times about my dating life and asked lots of questions about the reasons I'm not dating anyone. I told her I often lack confidence and it also seems like I get overlooked or not noticed by the men around me. She then gave me the following advice (which left me and her own daughter rolling in laughter.)
1. Picture it.
"Girl, you gotta picture yourself with the things you want!" she declared. "If you like a guy, you need to picture yourself dating him! You picture yourself as confident and available and you picture him as liking you and you just keep picturing what you want until you get it!"
(Nota Bene: When some girls do this, it's called having the Crazies. I recommend not straying into the Crazies territory.)
"You need to stop being insecure about whether a guy likes you and you just trample anyone who gets in your way!" At this point I had to ask for clarification as to what exactly she meant by "trample." "When I say trample, I mean if there are other girls around that guy, you get in there and make sure he notices you! You don't back off just because there's some competition. You go talk to him and sit next to him and ask him about his day and make sure he knows you're there and you're available."
She also gave me strict instructions that when I go to church (which is where a lot of the single men I know happen to be) I am not allowed to sit at a table with just girls. "You walk into that room, look for a guy you'd like to get to know and you go sit next to him and start talking!"
"Yes ma'am," I meekly said.
Driving home with my friend that night, we laughed and laughed about her mom's advice to picture and trample. We both agreed there was some truth to the Picture advice...in the sense that it's important to believe good things about ourselves...to believe that I am attractive, confident, worthy etc...
Neither of us could go so far as to support the trample theory...but it provided much amusement.
So I have to tell you, when I went to church on Sunday, her advice was ringing in my ears. I walked into the classroom thinking "Picture it! Picture what you want. Picture that it could happen."
And within ten minutes, I not only pictured...I also trampled. True story. :)