We all have crazy families, but I'm pretty sure mine is still one of the best when it comes to making me cringe in public. You know how teenagers act when their parents do something uncool? That's how I feel, to about the Nth power, when my family is out of control in the public realm.
Case in point: We had a family birthday last weekend and celebrated by having a picnic at the park. As we were finishing our meal, another family started to set up nearby. The grampa in their group walked by our table and said "Bon Appetit!" My dad responded enthusiastically with the reply "Oh thanks! We've already boned our petite."
Sometimes I wish I was Jewish, so I could say "oi" and really mean it.
There must have been a look of utter horror on my face, because my mom turned to me with her lips pursed and pointedly said to me "When you lived in MY house you wouldn't have known what that word even meant!"
That was a decade ago, Mom. And I knew what it meant, even then. I just pretended to be naive because I didn't want to discuss euphemisms with my parents. Forgive me.