How to Hang a Wall Sconce

Step 1: Open the box.

Step 2: Realize this project is much bigger than you are emotionally prepared for. Leave wall sconce in box on your living room floor for three weeks.

Step 3: After prolonged sabbatical, return to box. Read the instructions.

Step 4: Read the instructions again.

Step 5: Ask your roommate to read the instructions because you think you might be missing something.

Step 6: Call your best guy friend to ask him what it means to "drive the plastic expansion screw into the wall."

Step 7: Attempt to drive said plastic expansion screw into the wall while holding the phone to your ear and listening to the advice of your best guy friend.

Step 8: In the process of "driving" plastic expansion screw into the wall, destroy said plastic expansion screw.

Step 9: Attempt to drive a different plastic expansion screw into wall, while holding the phone to your ear and listening to your best guy friend read an article off the internet.

Step 10: Abandon the "driving" effort after destroying second plastic expansion screw.

Step 11: Pull out the never-before-used cordless drill.

Step 12: Based on advice of best guy friend, drill hole slightly smaller than diameter of plastic expansion screw.

Step 13: Attempt to insert/drive/screw another plastic expansion screw into drilled hole.

Step 14: Decide that plastic expansion screws are highly overrated and unnecessary.

Step 15: Drill screws sans plastic expansions into the wall.

Step 16: Realize you left off the little rings included in the kit.

Step 17: Reverse drill direction and pull screws out.

Step 18: Place rings over the screws and start over from the beginning.

Step 19: Hang your lovely new wall sconce and insert tea lights into the glass cups.

Step 20: Warn your friends not to sit on the couch under the wall sconce because it might come crashing down at any moment.