A friend and I were having a conversation today about books and authors and she made the comment that she'd really like to spend a day inside the brain of a particular author in order to discover how someone comes up with a story like the one we just read.
That got me thinking...within whose brain would I choose to spend a day?
My first thought was a guy's brain. I haven't quite figured out which guy. Not anyone I've dated, because I don't want to know what they're thinking (or not thinking at all) about me. Not anyone famous, because obviously their thoughts aren't representative of the male population. Just an average guy. This is how I imagine a day inside a guy's brain would go:
*Wakes up
I have to pee like a horse!
*Pees
I wonder how horses actually pee? Do they hike a leg up? I should try that.
*Showers
Mmmm...shampoo...hahaha POO...hahaha I wonder why the word poo is in shampoo...
*Examines self in mirror, does a little naked dance with various parts flopping about
You're a god, an Adonis...look at you...you could be Harrison Ford's twin. The young Harrison Ford...Han Solo era...not Air Force One Harrison Ford. You're not there yet, my boy. But some day...some day...
*Eats breakfast
I love food.
*Goes to work
I hate work.
*Eats lunch
I love food
*Goes back to work
Why don't we have naps at work? There should be naps. And baked goods. Why don't any of the girls around here make baked goods?
*Looks at female coworker
Ohhh boobies...
*Works some more
Boobies...boobies...I love boobies
*Goes home
What this apartment complex needs is a Wing Stop!
Is my day inside a guy's brain overly simplified? Perhaps. Is it roughly accurate? I think, yes. And just to be clear, I mean no offense to the thinking processes of men...I know you all are capable of thoughts at levels higher than an eight-year-old boy. But because this is mostly all I hear guys talk about, it's what I assume yall think about all the time. Which is why I'd really like to spend a day inside a guy's brain...to find out how close my perceptions are to reality.
6 comments:
Believe me, you wouldn't want to spend a day inside a guy's brain. Sometimes I don't want to spend a day inside my own brain.
You need to write a book.
David S.
Its a little simpler than that... as a man myself, I figured I'd give you a brief rundown:
*Wakes up
Pee. Now.
*Pees
Ahhhh.
*Showers
(No thoughts)
*Walks by mirror... hardly notices self in mirror. (This is later brought to his attention when a coworker points out his collar all askew.)
*Eats breakfast
Yum.
*Goes to work
Work Work Work.
*Eats lunch
Yum.
*Goes back to work
...
*Looks at female coworker
Ohhh boobies... (this part is accurate)
*Works some more
...
*Goes home
(Cooks frozen dinner. No thought required).
Holy cow, this made me CACKLE out loud. My dog is looking at me like I've lost my mind. This post was HILARIOUS!!
I do not believe I have ever heard a guy use the words "baked goods" before but you never know.
Although some may tell you they are both, you can basically lump guys into two categories: boob guys and butt guys.
*not EVERY guy is thinking "BOOBIES".
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