From Our Moscow Bureau

In our efforts to always bring you the latest most compelling information, our Moscow correspondent brings you this update from the Middle East.

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Greetings from a land that prospered 4,000 centuries ago. I have only been in Egypt a few days now and I have learned so much. First of all, I am quite certain that these people did not build these pyramids. If they had, I am sure that they would collect all of the trash that is laying in the streets and alleys of Cairo and construct another. Cairo is one of the dirtiest and craziest cities I've ever visited. There are over 20 million people living in Cairo. I think the night that I was there they all decided to get in their cars and drive frantically thru town honking, swerving, and screaming obscenities in arabic. The good part is that they are very friendly, when not driving, and are willing to help you with anything (for a small price, my friend). The pyramids were amazing! Much larger than I could have ever imagined. Another thing that I found interesting is that there are over 90 of them in Egypt! All my life I thought there were only three or four. Again, I am certain that they could break the 100 mark if they'd just start picking up the trash in town and piling it up in a geometric-like fashion.

I went to the valley of the kings today. To be honest it was kind of morbid. No one to my knowledge really enjoys going to a cemetery to see people they do not know. Why we enjoy going inside the tomb at a cemetery is beyond me as well. They have two separate cemeteries. The valley of the kings (for the boys). And the valley of the queens (for the girls). I kid you not, the tombs of the queens were always much better decorated and even smelt better (I know you think i'm exaggerating but I am not). Some things don't change. Even in the afterlife.

My guide was a devout muslim (like most of the people here). He was very nice and he was very respectful of my beliefs. He also informed me of several lies that we in the West have been told. First of all, he does not understand why the Jews do not want to come and visit Egypt (he calls it the Paris of the Middle East). I told him that it probably had something to do with being in bondage here and having to escape with the help of "the only True God". He then told me that the Jews a) were never slaves here and b) did not construct the pyramids. He then told me that during 911 that it is a fact that all of the Jewish workers that lived in the towers stayed home that day (implying that they knew of the attack). I told him that it just proves that God is looking out for them as He must have told them to stay home! Again, I learn something new everyday.

On a much lighter note, when eating at the touristy places I have found delight in listening to the rag tag band of musicians that hang out near the entrance. They only play music when the tourists walk by. The music last for about six or seven notes (depending on how long the tourists take to walk by and if they give them some money). Every new group of tourists get a new song. Because the songs are so short, we hang out near the entrance at night and play "Name that Tune". It's amazing the things you'll do when you don't have a television to occupy your time.

~The Moscow Correspondent