I couldn't find you in a sermon
I couldn't find you in a song
I couldn't find you Sunday morning
and that's when I knew something had gone wrong
I couldn't see you in the reading
I couldn't hear you in my prayers
I couldn't feel you in my feelings
and I began to fear that you weren't there


Then I thought I heard a sound somewhere in me
You said to stoop way down and that's where you'd be...

I never thought I'd find you here, way down in my shame and fear
I never thought that you'd draw near to this - my faithlessness
I never thought to look for you in this ditch that I've been crawling through
I never thought you'd listen to the plea of non-religious me


They told me they'd be praying for me
then they showed me to the door
They made it clear that they'd ignore me
until I wasn't struggling any more
That's when I started feeling guilty
it must have been my fault somehow
If only I'd been stronger, maybe
I would not be in this mess right now


But then I saw a nail-scarred hand bleeding on me
You said "I understand" and you showed me mercy...


I never thought I'd find you here, way down in my shame and fear
I never thought that you'd draw near to this - my faithlessness
I never thought to look for you in this ditch that I've been crawling through
I never thought you'd listen to the plea of non-religious me


Blessed are the poor in spirit, the Kingdom will belong to them
Your love is strong but still they fear that you will never let them in
Lord I am a true believer, help me overcome my unbelief
I stepped out on the raging water and now I'm sinking in the sea


If we have no room for strugglers, where are they to go for answers?
Didn't Jesus ask his Father for another way?
And what does that say
About the way we handle people when their faith is fragile?
Even Jesus slipped and stumbled when he carried the cross
Now the curse is gone and in its place
Amazing grace!



~Ross King