Thursday, August 30, 2007

Send in the Clowns

I stole this from Nancy. This is how it feels some days...

Do you know what it's like to be a clown?
Do you know what it's like to suffer
from too many laughs?
Do you know what it is like for a
girl to be born a circus act?
Do you know what it's like to have a funny bone
for a brain?
Do you?
I don't have any white paint
on my face, but I wear a mask.
I have a silly smile that never changes.
It's always there and everyone expects it to be there.
They like it that way.
They enjoy a clown and they use a clown
because they think a clown doesn't care
about anything.
I can't enjoy a bad mood with other people.
That's a strange luxury.
I have to be a clown.
Whenever people tease me I turn into an act,
a fool standing on my head.
Then I look up and I see a world full of upside down people
trying to be what they aren't.
I see so many people wearing strange colorless makeup,
and the longer they wear it the harder it is to
discover what kind of people they really are underneath.
I'm waiting for someone to step behind my face
and find me!
Not Stevie, but me!
Lord, when will this Stevie be free to be me?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey I tried to give you some material last night...

Laurie said...

I think you've missed my point...

Anonymous said...

I'm not a big poetry person so I just skimmed it...

sorry

Anonymous said...

Ok, since we are having problems here, maybe I can help out a little bit. I'm not sure if "that guy" is the same as guy #16516164." Regardless, you need to make an effort to understand poetry. It is a wonderful means of expression.

My comments here are directed at guy #16516164. If you have already offered your apology as "that guy," this is good. However, my comments will still apply. You have more apologizing to do. If "that guy" is not guy #16516164, then sit down, because we have some things to go over, and it is not going to be pretty. You need to read the post again. She isn't looking for "material." What you see as "material," she sometimes sees as a mask (facade, false exterior, etc) that people want, or even require her to wear. Did you not see the part that says "They enjoy a clown and they use a clown because they think a clown doesn't care about anything"? This sentence should have tipped you off that your attempt to give material was received as your request for her to perform for your entertainment. Whether you intended this or not, your comment sounds like you don't care at all about the real person, but only care about the laughs and entertainment she can give you. That is inexcusably ignorant and selfish.

Maybe what I am saying sounds harsh, but your comment in no way takes into account the feeling behind this post. You probably didn't mean anything bad by your comment, but did you consider at all the way it would be received? Think before you speak (or post comments). Words that are insignificant to you may have incredible impact on someone else.

I'll step off the soap box now. But, "Mr. Way Too Far Down the List" - if you make a statement like this again, I may just throw this soap box right at you next time. Oh, and if you would like to discuss this more in person, I would be happy to. Just let me know who you are, and I'll be in touch.

Anonymous said...

LJ knows who I am and knows my heart. My comment wasn't meant to offend her, but make her laugh. That's our friendship... we make one another laugh. I know the mask is there... we all have them. I'm not going to pretend I know her so well that I know why she wears the mask, but I do know her well enough to call her a sister.

When I say material I am talking about things to blog about... it wasn't the most appropriate thing to say after rereading the poem, but absolutely not meant as material for her to be my court jester or something. Laurie if you're offended, truly know that I offer my deepest regret because you know it's the last thing I would knowingly do to you.

I would like to say that your statement "someone..." was harsh and didn't take into consideration where I was coming from and words in a flame can hurt just as bad as those that were quipped quickly. I would ask did you consider all the ways that your post would be received? I'm not trying to flame back, but rationally discuss your points...

Anonymous said...

Whoa...I'm actually felling kinda awkward. Lucy, ummmm...I'm not sure what to say. "Wow" is all that comes to mind. Oh, and sharing the fact that I feel like I just walked in on something that I wasn't supposed to "hear" and can't figure out how to escape.

Nancy Mon said...

Wow, don't post the words to Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns... you may have a riot blog on your hands. :)