Me: Bill* wants to take me to coffee.
Guy #2: What did you tell him?
Me: I told him I really don't want to expand my group of fake dates.
Guy #2: Good. You don't have room in your life for any more "Guy #" friends. All the pretenders need to just step off. And the real ones need to step up.
Me: Great. I think that will leave me with only vacancies.
*Names changed to protect the innocent.