Things that made me laugh this week:
Friend: "You mean, when did I grow a pair? Oh! That should be a Friday Funny!"
Me: "I don't know if I have the guts to put that on my blog."
Friend: "I know you. You've got the ovaries to do it."
"Joel Osteen could play Santa - Your Best Christmas Now."
"Kirk is pimping me out to a couple of Dive girls."
"I was happy last night to find at least 12-15 people in my bedroom."
"He thinks he's all that but really it's his roommate who's got it."
"I like your shiny balls."
"I'm stealing. It's called 'selective obedience.'"
"When I make comments like that, I'm not trying to be a playboy."
Me: "Are you in love with your new baby iPOD?"
Friend: "I'm thinking of flying to Amsterdam so I can legally marry it."
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