Things that made me laugh this week:
"The first time we met was at a bar. The second time we met we slept together."
"The whole baby-making concept freaks me out."
Note: the person who made this statement actually meant baby-having, not baby-making.
Overheard: "The problem is she contaminates every pair of panties she owns."
"We require the most beautiful cheerleading squad, which you shall lead in glorious chants of our god-like physiques."
Overheard: "That's because all you're thinking about is sex."
"We need something bigger to mix all the margaritas."
Me: "I bought a new dress for our date."
My Date: "Me too."
"The gamma female spies her prey. As she slowly slips down the cliff, she makes sure not to startle the object she seeks...the easily frightened male of her species. Keeping her eye on him at all times, she slowly, ever so gently approaches...in the blink of an eye, she pounces. The male is startled and bolts over to the alpha female group where he is greeted by the shallow gene pool females he delights himself in so often, leaving the gamma female to lick her wounds and return to her den. Her empty, cold lonely den."
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