Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Bath Time

I recently learned about the vast differences between how men and women view bathing. I'm not talking about getting clean, I'm talking about taking a bath. Here's what I learned:

Women and bathing~
When a woman takes a bath, it is a relaxing experience. Certain preparations must take place before stepping into the tub. First, you pour a glass of wine (some of you may skip this step). Next, you run the hot water. My own preference is to make the water as hot as I can stand it. This is relaxing to the body and helps keep the water warm throughout the duration of the bath. While the water is running, some sort of scented bath salts, bubble bath or other additive should be poured into the tub. If you have long hair, now is the time to pin it up. Light a few candles and place them around the tub/bathroom. Grab a rolled up towel or air pillow, along with a novel or magazine. Step into the tub, adjust the pillow, lay back and breathe a deep sigh of relaxation. Commence sipping, reading, breathing in the scented steam and generally luxuriating in the silky water. Try not to doze off. Repeat next week.

Men and bathing~
Men don't take baths. There's a reason for this. Here's what happens when a man takes a bath. First, draw a tubful of hot water. Make it really hot. Get in the tub. Sit there for a while. Don't bring a book with you because it will get wet. Start sweating in the hot water. Get out of the tub and turn down the thermostat. Get back in the tub. Sit there some more. Realize you are hungry. Get out of the tub, go to the kitchen and grab some crackers and cheese. Get back in the tub while munching your snack. Realize there are now cracker crumbs floating in your bathwater. Sit there a little longer. Realize you are thirsty from all the crackers and cheese. Continue to sit in what appears to be your own filth until you can't take it anymore. Get out of the tub feeling dirty, sweaty, thirsty and disgusted. Swear never to take another bath.

13 comments:

Jennifer said...

the funny thing is the last time i took a bath for relaxation purposes, i had to get out and turn down the thermostat because i was sweating. :)

Jeanine said...

I love baths! I definitely take more than one per week; I just wish I had a garden tub. Ah...that would be the life.

Ulovebeth said...

I wanted to make a comment. But I keep getting weirded out. I'm not mature enough to handle this topic.

Eye Doctor Justin said...

I have a whirlpool tub in my bathroom that I have never used... not once.

EBay said...

The addition of some relaxing music is also nice. Reading this post seriously makes me want to take a bath. Unfortunately my bathtub is about the size of a shoebox, which really takes away from the experience. Oh, what I would give for a whirlpool tub...

kelly said...

You're dead on about men not taking baths. I mentioned it to a guy one time. The response? "No way am I sitting in butt water!" Kinda takes the fun out of taking a bath, huh?

Sarah said...

Oooooh Laurie, you've totally convinced me that tonight is bath night! I still have some Lush products I need to use up and a almost-empty bottle of wine that needs to be finished before it goes bad. I'll raise my glass to you tonight while I'm inhaling the lavender. :)

Anonymous said...

as women enter their 40s and beyond, they are overcome with a sense of urgency to erase signs of wrinkling using all types of creams, injections, and goofy looking masks. why then do you take long baths when you are young? if you stay in there long enough to read a book you are bound to be wrinkly when you get out...

Shanna said...

I take a bath every single night and every single morning. No lie. I love butt water.

Todd Richards said...

I usually can appreciate and understand where women are coming from on issues that the typical man does not. But on this one... I am all man. I loathe taking a bath. Truly.

And Laurie... repeat next WEEK? Please promise us that you will make sure to take your weekly bath the night before your date to West Side Story... or maybe even consider increasing the frequency.

:-)

Laurie said...

Todd,
I refer you back to the opening paragraph: "I'm not talking about getting clean, I'm talking about taking a bath."

I take a shower every day. I take a bath as a relaxing treat. My date should have nothing to worry about. :}

dennis said...

I find nothing wrong with a bath now and then. Nice and hot and relaxing. It's basically a hot tub without the strangers...

Alyssa said...

I agree! Taking a bath is relaxing and oh, so necessary at the end of a long, stressful today. Today hasn't been long or particularly stressful, but I will be taking a bath tonight. It just sounds good! Wine, music, good book and VERY hot water! :)