So I have a secret. Apparently my secret has caused quite a buzz. Numerous people have tried to guess the secret. One guy informed me that another guy bragged he could get the secret out of me. Not so, my friend.
None of you will ever guess this secret. It's not something that would be within the realms of anything you will think up. I won't tell ANY of you what the secret is until the two month period is up. So those of you who think you can find out the secret are wrong. Those of you who plan to ask certain well-connected friends for information will find it a useless endeavor.
I will dispel some rumors about the secret. No one is pregnant. No one is engaged. No one is about to get pregnant or engaged. No one is stealth-dating. No one has plans to stealth-date. In fact, my secret has nothing to do with male-female relationships at all.
You are all evil. There is no hope. That's it. Thank you.