Tuesday, May 02, 2006

High Maintenance

That's my personality type, according to the all-knowing Oracle of Starbucks. This thing is hilarious and you should definitely check it out. Just type in your drink of choice and it will tell you your personality type, accuracy guaranteed, satisfaction not so much.

My drink is the grande, non-fat, no-whip, peppermint mocha. I am described thus:

Personality Type: High Maintenance.
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass

Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

O Wise, All-Knowing Oracle of Starbucks! How do you know me so well?!

10 comments:

the other Justin said...

I hate this friggin oracle:

Here is what he said when I told him I go for the Ethos Bottled Water:

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks Ethos Bottled Water.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

What's wrong with America's Funniest Home Videos?

Jeanine said...

This is very interesting...I drink mostly one of two different beverages at Starbucks...grande awake hot tea with nonfat milk and the grande passion iced tea without sweetener. Both of my beverages come up listing me high maintenance.

rwt said...

You may hate the oracle, but it's sad but true - I mean really - read to the end...

(grande hot chocolate)

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink grande hot chocolate are STRIPPERS.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

Lack of intelligence and absolutely freakin skanky hot (thank Sam Mallone for that)- I think this thing has each of us pegged!!

the other justin said...

Dang... I tried a different drink and it still called me "lame"... I shouldn't have tried to test the oracle.

Ross, I always had a sneaking suspicion you were a stripper.

Laurie said...

I'm telling you! The Oracle knows all.

kirk said...

So I'm a Pseudo-intellectual and a liberal. They are so right on. I already knew the thing about my "friends" hating me and everyone knows i'm a pothead by now.

Personality type: Pseudo-intellectual

You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless. Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters "just in case it's true." All people who drink venti non fat chai latte are potheads.

Troy said...

The Oracle is a sham! My drink is a venti caramel macchiato. The Oracle said that I don't go to Starbucks much, which is a lie!

Laurie said...

Troy, perhaps the Oracle was basing its assessment off of recent developments in which you have not been required to visit Starbucks as frequently because an amazingly sweet, wonderful person made the trip to Starbucks for you and then spilled your coffee on her white shirt. Perhaps.

erin vanv said...

I think the oracle is just bitter.

It called me lame and fat .

Justin said...

not impressed. they did not even take the time to make more than about 4 different personalities. This was a good idea, but I need a little more variation to amuse me.