How NOT to get a job

In this tough economy, people are trying a lot of different strategies to get their foot in the door at whatever establishment they wish to be employed. I can't offer you any tips for how to score the job you really want. But I can tell you how to effectively make sure a company does NOT hire you. As always, my advice comes from actual life events. None of the following is fabricated, although names have been removed to protect the socially awkward.

Earlier this week, a guy showed up at our station and told the receptionist he was interested in getting started in radio. The receptionist called into the newsroom and told one of my coworkers (who handles our intern program) that someone wanted to find out about learning the radio biz. So my coworker went down the hall to talk to him.

This is her account of the story...she realized the man wearing faded jeans, untucked shirt and styrofoam cup of coffee in hand was the person asking for a job. She proceeded to ask him what kind of work he is looking for and he told her he wanted to know if we ever need "voices."

"Voices?" she asked.
"Yea, I can be a 'voice' on the radio. How can I help YOU? What can I do for YOU?" he replied.
"Umm, well we don't really need any voices right now. We have full-time staff on the air," she told him.

At this point, he started talking in a high-pitched fake voice and said "What? You mean you don't need any cartoon voices?" As she tried not to laugh, she politely informed him that we are a news station and we don't really use cartoon voices on our air. But she offered to give him a tour of the station.

When she brought him into the newsroom, I realized it was someone I am casually acquainted with. I just had seen him the night before at a social outing where we talked a bit about radio and now here he was at my office. He acted surprised to see me and said something along the lines of not realizing I worked here at the station. Umm, okay, sure.

We chatted briefly and then my coworker offered to walk him back up to the lobby. When they got to the reception desk, he turned to her and said "so...do you ever like to get a glass of wine on a Friday night?"
She gave him a blank stare and after a long pause said "Um, what do you mean?"
"Well, I guess that's another way of asking if you'd ever want to go out?" he replied.
"I have a boyfriend. But thanks for the invitation," she answered.
"Oh ok. Well would you still want to get a glass of wine sometime just because...?" he persisted.
"I don't think my boyfriend would be okay with that," she said.

And then he left, having hammered the final nail into the coffin of certainty that we will never be calling him up to be one of our "voices."