Maybe I've been trying too hard. I've been trying to protect you from how things really are, and in the process I lost my pleasure in this blog because it doesn't truly reflect me. I used to love writing as a creative outlet, but now it feels like a chore. Maybe it's time to make my blog what I really want it to be -- a place where I can be myself and not worry about whether the things I'm writing are the things you want to read.
I've always tried to keep the QQ funny and lighthearted. That's because most of the time when I veer away from that pattern, I get burned. People criticize what I say or misunderstand me or tell me they just wish I would go back to being funny again.
But the truth is I'm not just a funny girl. I'm funny and fun and warm and lighthearted, but I'm also deep and melancholy and contemplative and wounded. I'm someone who loves to laugh and I'm someone who cries often. I'm a girl with a great sense of humor, but there's much more to me than that.
My blog isn't the place to share my most personal thoughts or to work out my insecurities and issues. But it is MY blog and can be more than I've allowed it to be recently. I hope you're ok with that. If not, I'm doing it anyway.
*Update: Just as I was about to post this I found out my car was broken into...an ironic continuation of the reality that not everything is happy happy joy joy right now. Sigh.