What NOT to Say

Yesterday turned out to be a splendid day for watching guys put their feet directly into their mouths. In fact, there was so much foot-chewing that I'll have to serve this up in a two-part series.

Commence Part One:

The Scene: Singles Mingling After Church
The Characters: Me, My Roommate, Awkward Guy

So picture it, my roommate and I are standing there chatting after church when Awkward Guy approaches. He hovers, awkwardly (it's in his name, he can't help it). He says hello. We say hello. He says, to me, how was your week? I say, fine...how was yours? The conversation stalls. Cue more awkward. He turns to my roommate and says "hi, I don't think I know you." She introduces herself. Awkward pause. In desperation, he finally says "I like the stripes on your skirt." She says thanks. Then to completely doom the encounter, he follows up with this doozy:
"I mean, I notice those things because I've had a lot of friends who were girls who took me shopping with them. So I noticed the stripes. But I'm not gay."

Well, thanks for clarifying. The awkwardness is complete.

Tune in tomorrow for Part Two in our series What NOT to Say...