Musicians Need Not Apply

I've come to a realization. I can't date musicians. Now I'm not talking your run-of-the-mill dabbler who just likes to pick out a chord now and then. They're harmless, really. Sure they don't really know what they're doing. But as long as they're not obnoxious about it, it can be kinda cute or at the very least mildly amusing.

But the much more insidious character in my dating playbook is the Passionate Music Guy. He may not be a musician by trade, but he is one by heart. He gets a husky tone to his voice when talking about his favorite musicians. He gets a gleam in his eye when he sees a new instrument. And he pulls out his trusty guitar and starts playing, humming and crooning when he wants to relax and find peace.

Now to many girls, this sounds like a recipe for romance and passion. To me, it sounds like a recipe for spending time with a boyfriend who is only half paying attention to me.

Call me selfish, but I'd like you to look me in the eye and put down the guitar while we're talking. I'd also appreciate it if you could refrain from bursting into song every time I say a word that triggers a musical reference in your mind. And realistically speaking, since you're a musician, asking you not to do those things would be like asking Carrot Top not to be an annoying freak.

So that's why I think it's best that you, Passionate Music Guy, and I...just be friends...