Thursday, August 09, 2007

Reality Really Does Bite

I have noticed a trend among my faithful readers. You like the funny stuff. It was pointed out to me today that over the past couple weeks I have posted some more "pensive" entries. Incidentally, most of those so-called pensive entries have been a line or two from a song or poem that I like, not my own original thoughts. So for all of you who only read my blog for the humor, you can go ahead and skip today's entry. For the remaining 2.7 readers who aren't afraid...

A recent excerpt from my journal:

I'm fearful of what will spill onto these pages -- revealing the demons of self-pity, despair, envy, bitterness and deepest hurt. The truth is that if I allow my pen to continue, all my darkest thoughts will be exposed to my own eyes. The confrontation of that hard reality is too much for me. It forces me to be vulnerable -- no, more than vulnerable -- it forces me to be desperate and helpless. Desperation and self-sufficiency are incompatible. So deeper into misery I continue to journey because at least misery is familiar. I know what to do with it -- how to luxuriate in it, examine it, treasure every line and detail, cup it to my face and cherish it in my heart, worship and adore it in all its cold, dead, agonizing splendor.

9 comments:

Ulovebeth said...

What does luxuriate mean?

Sarah said...

For what it's worth, I like reading the deeper stuff as well as the funny stuff.

Mindy said...

are you sure that's from your journal or from mine??? ;-) I like reading all of it too!

Dana said...

I love to read both your serious and your funny posts....Sometimes comments are as hard to write as the post.

gL said...

I like the deeper stuff but don't know that responses are appropriate on something like a blog.

I often wonder if we would treat the Word as intimately as our own misery if we would have the problems that we do. If we could transcend self-pity and experience the joy that the saints experienced whenever they faced trials. Let us dive deeper into the Word, luxriate in it, examine it, treasure every line and detail, cup it to our face and cherish it in our heart, worship and adore the One it speaks of in all His glorious, alive, and amazing splendor.

Ulovebeth said...

My journal reads more like, "I saw so-and-so today. He looked really cute in his tie. He was either subtly smiling at me or had gas from the burrito he was eating."

luxuriate. Word of the day.

Laurie, it's your blog. Blog as you wish. There will always be opinions. And there will always be people that love you through laughter and through tears.

Alyssa said...

So more than 2.7 readers were not afraid... :) Love you, Laurie! Blog on! :)

bbrown said...

This has got to be one of my favorite entries you have written. It is absolutely beautiful. perfectly concise and yet endless in its depth and emotion. and wow, the wisdom in considering the relationship betw self-sufficiency and misery... you amaze me. Each time I read it I uncover yet another layer of thoughtful truth. Your transparency is compelling and convicting. and I love you.

Carissa said...

I love that you are deep and funny. And deeply funny! (And funnily deep - doesn't sound quite right, but you get the point.) Love ya!