Things that made me laugh this week:
"When I get old and lose all my teeth, will you come over and chew my food for me?"
"I was my mom's moist little birthday present."
Guy on the subject of boxer-briefs:
"A noble attempt, but you always lose something with a hybrid."
"There is a Laurie Johnson on Ellen right now and she is black. Coincidence? I think not."
Guy: "Um, this will be my version of the brazilian wax."
"I think I am going to re-name my garden 'Project Patio.'"
"Then we can call it PP for short!"
"Yeah! We can say things like 'how is your PP, Laurie?'"
"Oh! How about 'Have you seen Laurie's PP lately?'"
"To hell with legalism. Let's booze it up."
"Be careful, or I will break a slate over your head."