A few days ago I had an encounter with a Summit guy that really struck me. It was a small, seemingly insignificant moment that carried more weight than he could have imagined.
I was at a party and had to leave early. One of the guys at the party who I have only met a couple times noticed me leaving and offered to walk me to my car. I told him my car was literally right in front of the house. His response was "okay, I'm still going to walk with you." As we left the house, I expected him to do the typical Summit guy thing: walk me half-way down the driveway and watch me walk the rest of the way to the car. This has happened to me countless times. For some reason, the guys think it is sufficient to only take the girl half-way. I've even had guys watch me from their balcony or front porch, instead of taking the time and care to actually escort me to my vehicle. I kept expecting him to stop and just stand there. I even pointed out my car and told him "it's just right there" but he continued walking with me. I got to my car and unlocked the door and that's when he did something that completely floored me. He reached over, opened my car door for me, made sure I got safely inside and carefully shut my door as he waved goodbye and wished me a good night.
That one act touched me so deeply. That's the first time a Summit man has done that for me. I've had plenty of doors opened for me, but it's always when I am getting into their car -- never when they are helping me into my own car. It was such a simple act: the way a gentleman treats a lady. He did it without making a show of it, without expecting any accolades, without giving the wrong signals. I didn't drive away thinking "oh, he likes me!" or "I wonder what he meant by that?". I drove away thinking "that is a man who is unafraid to be a man and unafraid to treat me as a lady."
Men, don't be afraid to be gentlemen. Don't worry about what the girl will think or whether she'll get the wrong idea. If you treat every lady just the same and truly treat her as a lady, she'll know that your intentions are to value and protect her. You have no idea how much it means to us, how much we appreciate those small acts and how much respect you gain in our eyes when you do something as simple as open a car door.
10 comments:
amen! amen!!
It has happened one time to me as well. It was on a date. The date went well, but there wasn't a lot of chemistry so I was thinking maybe there wouldn't be a second one. When he walked me to my car, making a point to open the door for me to get in, my respect for him jumped several levels and I thought, "hmm, maybe there is a possibility here." I don't say that to give the wrong impression. If you do it, I will not start crushing. :) However, my respect for the individual will skyrocket.
I agree with Laurie. Such a small act speaks volumes.
I think what you meant to say with this entry was directed at all your other Summit dudes, and the message was:
You just got served!
admittingly I have been slipping in this department... I will however say that when you hear "No, I am OK" enough times it starts sinking in...
Greg,
Excellent point. We women should not say things we don't mean. I have been guilty of telling a guy I don't need help, when the truth is that I definitely want someone to walk me out. Thanks for that reminder. I will attempt to be more gracious and honest in those situations.
All excellent points. And I would like to clarify something on your last comment, Laurie... there is a difference between "I need help" and "I want help." Do we "need" someone to walk us to our vehicles and open the door for us? No, but do we "want" them to? Of course! But you are right - we definitely could all do a better job at just being appreciative instead of pretending the gesture is unwanted. Great post!
Erin,
I agree there is a difference between want and need. However, there are honestly times when I need someone to walk me to my car. Dark parking lots late at night are not always safe for women walking alone. So yes, I might "need" someone to walk with me. I don't "need" the guy to open my door, but that's where the "want" part comes in. :}
This is a First class post gal,
I've been around a few guys lately who are wonderful Christian men but when it comes to serving me as a sister...it's non-existent. It's really been contradictory and confusing. But I've also been around non-Christian men who have gone out of their way to open doors for me, refill my empty coffee cup, compliment me..I mean the list goes on and on. Men of God, Laurie is right we love it when you treat us with respect and love. We are God's precious children (just as you are) and when our brothers who know the Lord treat us with such disregard it not only hurts us but I does not bring glory to the Lord.
Sue
i know who it is!!
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