"How cute! You're taller sitting down than you are standing up!" ~ A comment from someone who noticed I am shorter when standing than when sitting on an elevated barstool.
"If you live with your parents, you won't be using those 'curtains' very often." ~ Curtains = lingerie
"New Potatoes!" ~ You had to be there.
"Quick! Tell her she's pretty!" ~ One guy telling another guy what to do after second guy offended me.
"Give him a womb for his children." ~ No explanation forthcoming.