Wednesday, August 30, 2006

For Beth

Beth is bored today. She is sad because no one has emailed her, the blog updates are few and she hasn't received any personal text messages today. So I will hereby relate my Tale of Two Text Messages. (Cue dramatic, scary music.)

Last Wednesday, I received a text message from a number I did not recognize. The message was of a shady nature. An unidentified person asked me "What is the plural of penis? My friend wants to know." Of course, I was shocked and horrified that someone would send such a disgusting text message to me (translation: I thought it was really funny, but had no clue who sent it). I did not reply to the text because I figured it was some sort of prank.

On Sunday, I received another text message from the same phone number. This time the person asked "What is your address?" and that was a little creepy. Hmmm, let me see...should I reply to Mr. Anonymous Pervert Texter with my home address? Riiight. Again, I did not respond to the message.

On Monday, the same person called me. They're calling now! Ok, I am officially creeped out. I did not answer and hoped the person would leave a voicemail. They didn't. I started to send a text message to Troy, telling him about this latest attempt to cellphone stalk me, when they called AGAIN! I was in the process of typing the text message and I accidentally hit the "accept call" button on my phone. Ooops! I was stuck. I had to answer the phone and confront this wacko and deal with whatever obscenity they were about to spew over the phone line.

"Who IS this?", I demanded into the phone.

"This is Linda Brook*" a timid, meek voice answered.

I nearly died laughing. It was a girl from church! A girl I know! A girl who is very funny and sweet and had no idea she was freaking me out with her text messages. I have now programmed her number into my the next time she sends me a text of a shady nature I won't accuse her of being a perverted stalker.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.


Ulovebeth said...

I'm not bored now!! Why did she want to know the plural of that??
I can't even type it. You are much braver that I am, Laurie.

Justin said...

penes. that is the plural form I prefer. I just looked it up in my cubicle in the middle of everyone. That has been bugging me all week...but I am not Linda Brook. I just hang out with Linda and talk about...well, anything.

Troy said...

You mistyped. The names were changed to protect the guilty, not the innocent.

Anonymous said...

Laurie, I love your blog, when I need an uplift you are always there. :)

EBay said...

I love this story. Especially since I was the intended recipient of the original text message.