For Beth

Beth is bored today. She is sad because no one has emailed her, the blog updates are few and she hasn't received any personal text messages today. So I will hereby relate my Tale of Two Text Messages. (Cue dramatic, scary music.)

Last Wednesday, I received a text message from a number I did not recognize. The message was of a shady nature. An unidentified person asked me "What is the plural of penis? My friend wants to know." Of course, I was shocked and horrified that someone would send such a disgusting text message to me (translation: I thought it was really funny, but had no clue who sent it). I did not reply to the text because I figured it was some sort of prank.

On Sunday, I received another text message from the same phone number. This time the person asked "What is your address?" and that was a little creepy. Hmmm, let me see...should I reply to Mr. Anonymous Pervert Texter with my home address? Riiight. Again, I did not respond to the message.

On Monday, the same person called me. They're calling now! Ok, I am officially creeped out. I did not answer and hoped the person would leave a voicemail. They didn't. I started to send a text message to Troy, telling him about this latest attempt to cellphone stalk me, when they called AGAIN! I was in the process of typing the text message and I accidentally hit the "accept call" button on my phone. Ooops! I was stuck. I had to answer the phone and confront this wacko and deal with whatever obscenity they were about to spew over the phone line.

"Who IS this?", I demanded into the phone.

"This is Linda Brook*" a timid, meek voice answered.

I nearly died laughing. It was a girl from church! A girl I know! A girl who is very funny and sweet and had no idea she was freaking me out with her text messages. I have now programmed her number into my phone...so the next time she sends me a text of a shady nature I won't accuse her of being a perverted stalker.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.