Monday, July 17, 2006

Rebuttal

Dear Todd,

Being 30 and single is not a bad thing. But your list of reasons for being glad you're single is all wrong. Please review my rebuttal and take notes.

1. You never have to share the covers, but you also never get to share your bed.
2. You already put the toilet seat down. This is not a valid reason because no woman will ever have to make you do what you already do.
3. If you've ever had to wonder whether that particular pair of underwear is clean or dirty, then this method does not work as well as you think it does.
4. See #1
5. Ummm, ewwww.
6. The leftovers from home-cooked meals make very nice lunches.
7. Order something she doesn't like.
8. This one is tricky. The best I can come up with is: back row, lights out, who cares what's on the screen, an extra ticket is a small price to pay...
9. Great, so you're just going to bottle it up inside and let it consume you from within.
10. Less family = Less presents
11. Watch something she does like.
12. Some of us don't like chick flicks...give us some credit.
13. Being married means you can act like you're hanging out with the guys even when you're with your wife. Just ask Dustin.
14. Hanging out with females vs. getting some action from your hot wife...hmm, tough one.
15. Just remember: When you decide not to shave your face, she might decide not to shave her legs.
16. How is this a difficult question? There is clearly only one answer and that is: "Of course not, honey. You're hot!"
17. Or you can notice the new haircut and get MAJOR points.
18. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone else to blame?
19. And no one to spend it on...
20. All alone.
21. Think of weddings as a means to an end. They get us in the mood for luv.
22. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. You do want to be a man of God, don't you?
23. See #2.
24. Talking in your sleep would actually be kinda cute.
25. Better-Dealer
26. You also never, EVER get to purchase lingerie. Think about it.
27. BOR-ING. And not true. You still feel the repercussions from your girl friends.
28. "Fun single events" like...eating out and seeing movies and watching the playoffs...? Yeah, you're right. You can't do those things as a couple. No way.
29. Wow. It makes me sad that you list sleeping on the floor as one of the pluses of being single.
30. Well, this whole rebuttal blew that theory out of the water.

*********
Nota Bene:
Don't freak out, people. I got permission to write a rebuttal to Todd's list. Isn't that submissive of me? ;)

6 comments:

Todd Richards said...

Laurie... you have done it again. You have scored oodles of "cool" points. I think #20 is my favorite... and least favorite all at once. :-)

EBay said...

Great rebuttal, Laurie!!!

And further to #15... some women think stubble is sexy....

jhaas said...

::smile out loud:: what a riot. Laurie! you can swim deep and be funny. i love it.

Anonymous said...

i will never have stubble again! i want to get in the habbit of being clean shaven so that i do not have to change my personal habbits in the future.

Michael & Meg said...

Laurie- I'm one of Todd's college friends and must say that was fantastic! I'm so glad Todd continues to have people to put him in his place! Great job!!! Meg

Laurie said...

Hey Meg!

We love Todd around here and sometimes that means telling him a thing or two! ;)
Glad you liked the rebuttal. All in good fun. :}