Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Single Life


The other day, I was waiting at an intersection when I noticed some pigeons on the ground. One of the male pigeons was clearly trying to impress one of his female friends. He was strutting around, puffing up his feathers and generally attempting to look as attractive, competent, successful and studly as possible. I could just imagine what he was saying to the cute chick he was pursuing. Probably things like "Hey, have you noticed the size of my wingspan?" or "yeah, I bring in a good 40-50 worms per week...work keeps me pretty busy these days" or maybe "your feathers look great, I bet they're soft too." He was really doing a great job of showing off. Unfortunately, the girl he was trying to impress could not have been less interested. Ain't that always the way...

6 comments:

Eye Doctor Justin said...

Sadly, the he-pigeon walked away... But, he consoled himself with a hilarious conversation with his guy pigeon friends about how many cars they crapped on.

Anonymous said...

maybe you should return to said intersection and school the lady pigeon on official bird flirtation presentation... after you schooled me on official female human flirtation I feel like I have a better understanding...maybe she just did not understand ...

Laurie said...

I think the lady pigeon knew what was going on. I mean, she clearly wasn't laughing at any of his jokes or reaching out to touch his wing. And she definitely wasn't glancing at his beak while he talked. Classic case of male going after the wrong chick.

He should have looked over his shoulder to see the other lady pigeon who was hanging on his every word and hoping he will notice the sparkle in her eye when he's around...

James said...

The unique ability to focus on only one thing at a time apparently transcends human males...it's common to males of all species

Anonymous said...

maybe she was just unaware that deep down, she really does like him. maybe she just needs some gentle encouragement to understand that he is 'the bird'.

keep pursuing her mr. pigeon! you're not focus-challenged you just know a good thing when you see her!

Jason said...

Yep! The length men go to make asses of themselves to impress women is one, big, divine train wreck.