Thursday, February 16, 2006

Battling the Beast

This morning had such promise. I woke up early (well before the alarm) and got ready for a beautiful day. Kristen made some extra coffee and since I had extra time I made myself a cup. I sat in the living room, drinking a hot cup of coffee. It was so nice. I wasn't reading anything, or watching anything, or listening to anything. It was just coffee and silence and my thoughts. It was a great quiet time, in the sense that it really was quiet and peaceful. Just time alone with my Lord, simply sitting in His presence.

After coffee and quiet, I got up and prepared to leave the house. That's when I saw the beast. A HUGE cockroach was blocking my exit. I thought about hollering for Dinah to come down and rescue me, but I had a sense that she might not be much help. Sorry Dinah.

My mind was racing. Should I leave the room to get roach spray and take the risk that it would run away and disappear? Or should I stand there staring at it's evilness and pray the Lord would strike it down before me? I have full faith in the Lord, but I opted for the spray.

I ran into the kitchen to get the spray and ran back into the living room prepared for my duel. I sprayed that sucker and it started running TOWARD me! That's when I started shrieking. Why do they have to run toward me??? If I am the one killing you, wouldn't you want to run away from me?

Dinah heard my screams and came downstairs. She calmly surveyed the situation and told me simply "they sense your fear." By this time there was roach spray all over the floor and the beast was still not dead. He finally collapsed. I got some paper towels to wipe up the floor...but he was right there and I couldn't get close enough. I had to go get the broom and use it to push the paper towels around on the floor. I am desperately hoping one of my roommates has pity on me and removes his corpse from the house before I get home.


Kristen said...

I've been in that battle myself definitely no fun. My weapon of choice is spray also because I want to stay as far away as possible. If your roommates don't remove his corpse, you can use a vacuum cleaner with a long extension to get rid of him without having to touch him.

Jason said...

What is it with women and roaches? My wife is the exact same way. When I hear the blood curling screams from the other room it's either a roach or a horde of flesh-eating zombies. Of course I have to kill the roach by moving furniture and using whatever to crush it. I think the zombies would be easier to fight.

I am with you on the serenity coffee brings. That is why I'm addicted to it.

Shanna said...

I have had to call some of my guy friends over to my house to remove dead roaches. No animal has more disease than those little suckers. Bafarama.

Kristen Brown said...

laurie! that's just great. I'll make you a deal...I'll pick up the dead roach when Connie's check goes through. :)

Laurie said...

Kristen the vacuum extension is not an option. You see, I have an irrational fear of roaches. The simple fact that I actually killed this one is HUGE! I can't bear the thought of sucking that thing up in the vacuum because I will know that it will be sucked toward my body and then it will still be inside the vacuum. Shudder.

Jason, you are a good man. All roaches should be annihilated. They are worse than zombies.

Shanna, don't think I didn't consider calling Todd...but I knew he was already at work.

Kristen (the roomie), I make no such deals. I am not above calling a friend to come over and get that thing out of our house if that becomes necessary.

erin vanv said...

Someone taught me once to sweep them outside after killing them...but this probably doesn't work in a house.

Did you know they don't have roaches in Canada? It's one of the things I console myself with when it's 30 below outside.

EBay said...

Laurie, you can call me anytime you need a roach assassinated. Although I do think they are gross, I feel strangely powerful when I hear the crunch as I end its life with my shoe.

Does that ruin your image of my femininity? See my tiara picture above - I really am a girl!! :-)

Dustin said...

I highly recomend Erin. She comes and kills our roaches all the time.