Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Nightmare Spreads

Last night my phone rang at about 9:30. It was my friend Beth, who told me she was about to cry and she was calling me because I was the first person she thought of that could relate to her distress. I have asked her to guest-blog her experiences for the rest of you. Here is an account of what she told me last night.

I am not an unclean person. I regularly clean my sink. And I have roaches invading my apartment. Every time it rains, they find their way in. I should probably just install a tiny swinging door for them.

Last night, I had the worst roach attack ever. I was entering my bathroom when I was abruptly stopped by the scene which was before me. My precious purple Oral-B toothbrush was being grotesquely fondled by a three-inch roach (not including length of the swirling antennae). At that point, I kind of blanked out. For the next hour or so, I was in a fog (and not just because of Raid). When I got back my strength, I picked up my Dr. Scholl's wooden sandal and smacked that baby down yelling, "You deserve to die!"

Somehow I made it to CVS and purchased a new toothbrush and a protective tube to cover it up. It didn't say "roach protector" on the label of the tube, but I think it will do the job. And right now, while I'm at work, my apartment is getting fogged by Raid. I might have to sleep with a gas mask on, but it's worth it.


blakely said...

guest-blog...that's genius!
thank you for blessing us with this encounter.

Lisa said...

Would you believe a similar thing happened to me last night. As I was on the phone with a friend, an intruder showed up in my house. My initial response was a frightened scream... to which my friend very calmly responded, "I know what that scream means". Apparently, I have a roach scream. How sad is that?

All for now,

James said...

Has there been a scary movie made about roaches? I know of ones in the past with ants, bees, birds, etc.,

Seriously, Hollywood needs to come interview the women of HFBC, there's some good material there....oh, and some scary roach stories, too..;)