Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Final Installment

Same dinner. Yet another boy.

I was seated next to a very dear and long-time friend of mine. This guy is someone I am quite comfortable with. Apparently the waiter picked up on that. We were a fairly large group, so at the end of the meal the waiter asked if we wanted our bill together or separated. One of the guys responded that everyone at the table would like separate checks. Our waiter was not convinced.

I didn't know this until later, but the waiter discreetly and quietly went up to my guy friend, leaned over and whispered "you and the lady? You want your checks together?" My friend told him no, our checks were separate. The waiter gave him an odd look -- sort of an arched-eyebrow-are-you-sure? kind of look and stalked off.

I guess he was disappointed that his waiterly intuition had been thwarted.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Close Encounters of the Boy Kind

Another installment of stories from dinner with friends. Same dinner, different boy. I was sitting across from a guy I had just met. He seemed very nice and was quite friendly. I happened to be drinking a margarita and at one point he asked me if it was any good. I said "it's ok, not the best margarita I've ever had...not very strong on the lime flavor." He gave me an odd look, smiled and said "you know how sometimes girls say one thing and mean another? Well sometimes guys do that too. I wasn't really asking how you like your margarita."

This left me a bit puzzled. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.

Then he flashed a winning smile and said "what I was really trying to ask you was...can I have a taste of your margarita?"

So I shared my drink with a practical stranger.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Personal First

Saturday night I joined a group of friends for dinner. Among the group was one guy who is casual acquaintance. I've met him a number of times and we have many mutual friends. Every time he talks to me he can't remember my name. He's had to ask me my name so many times that is has become annoying. So when I saw him walk up and join the group, I knew it was going to happen again.

Sure enough, he smiled at me, shook my hand, and said "remind me your name again?"
I looked him in the eye, smiled my most charming smile and said "you ask me my name every time you see me. My name is Laurie. And I am going to need you to remember that from now on."

Needless to say he was a bit taken aback by being called out on that one...but he took it graciously, laughing as he apologized for his forgetfulness and promising to do better in the future.

We made our way to the table, where he sat down next to me and began a friendly conversation. Next thing I knew, he pulled out his cell phone, opened it up and said "I'm going to take your picture."

"Excuse me?" I said.

"I'm going to take your picture and label it 'Laurie' and save it in my phone. That way I'll never forget your name again."

So he did. And I'm not sure how to feel about that. But it makes for a good story.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

Reason # 132 Why I Love My Job

This came in the mail for me in a press kit. Examine the small diagram on the right side.


That's right. You're supposed to use this nasal teapot to shoot stuff up your nose. And is it just me or does the spout looke a little...errrm...well...suggestive?


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Letters Dept.

Dear Skipper,

How are you? I hope all is well. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. I realize I haven't been a very good blog-friend lately. Dinah mentioned the same thing to me, it was sort of like an intervention. By the way, your next-door neighbor told me he shaves his entire body.

xoxo,
Laurie

Friday, December 19, 2008

8 Things

Nancy tagged me. She's like that. ;)
This is harder than it seems. I don't necessarily have a top eight things in all these categories. And they aren't necessarily in order of importance...wrote them down as they came to mind....and some are scraping the bottom of the barrel...oh the pressure!

8 TV Shows I Watch

Scrubs
Dancing with the Stars
Tim Gunn's Guide to Style
Project Runway
What Not to Wear
Seinfeld reruns
Friends reruns
News

8 Favorite Restaurants

Lupe Tortilla's
Backstreet Cafe
Niko Niko's
Azuma
the breakfast klub
Chuy's
Baby Barnaby's
Empire Cafe
Carrabba's

8 Things That Happened to Me Today

Got a Starbucks Espresso Truffle
Got a pedicure
Talked with a Buddhist about Christmas
Updated Facebook status
Got blog-tagged
Saw my picture in a magazine
Talked to Jesus
Still waiting for number 8 to happen

8 Things I Look Forward To

Christmas!
Todd's party tonight
Ward's wedding tomorrow
My first kiss
Talking to Jesus in person
My 30th birthday
Wearing my new green dress
Having adventures

8 Things I Wish For

Having adventures
Babies
My dad to get better
My mom to know how loved she is
A thinner body
A husband
An unlimited shoe allowance
To live in another country

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Look Alikes?

Today I was driving down the feeder road and stopped at a light. The car next to me honked and I looked over to see what the problem was. There was a guy inside the car smiling and waving...until he saw my face and realized he doesn't know me, after all. I laughed.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Proof


Gender Confusion

I placed my order at the counter.
"One grande non-fat, no whip, peppermint mocha twist please."

"What's your name?" the barista asked.

"Laurie," I replied.

A few minutes later I hear this:

"I have a non-fat peppermint mocha twist for...Larry."

Sigh.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Remember Me?

My poor little QQ has been so neglected lately. I felt really guilty about that for several days. Then I realized not one single blog reader made any sort of comment about my absence. So maybe I was missing the blog more than you were. Food for thought...

I've had several very odd dreams lately. No really, VERY odd. A few days ago I dreamt my roommate and I were going to watch TV together. However, I couldn't find any clothes to wear. None. Not even underwear. So I sat on the floor, naked, trying to cover myself as best I could. It was quite awkward. And chilly.

A day or two later I had a dream that I took my boyfriend home to meet my family. (Note, I don't actually have a boyfriend, but the dream was quite convincing.) Somehow my family had multiplied. There were dozens of aunts and cousins and various cajun people all over the place. My boyfriend found it all a bit overwhelming and after an hour or so of visiting, begged to be released from our dinner plans with the family.

Perhaps last night's dream was the most odd of all. I was pregnant. A few of my girlfriends threw me a baby shower...and it was the most lame, pitiful shower I have ever imagined. Most of my dearest friends didn't show up and quite a few people weren't even invited. There were no decorations or party foods and hardly anyone talked or laughed. I only received about five or six gifts. At the end I was crying and asked my friends why they had treated me so poorly. They didn't seem to understand and kept saying how nice they thought it had all been and that I was being too sensitive.

These are all obviously anxiety dreams. But the strange thing is I don't feel anxious and particularly stressed about anything right now. The only conclusion I can draw is this:

Being naked leads to boyfriends and babies.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Rubbing Elbows...errr...or Waists?

So I happened to be at the Toyota Center today. I was standing with a handful of people in the administrative entrance, waiting for some other people to join us. As we were chatting, one of the girls in the group quietly says, "oh there's Yao." Sure enough, not ten feet away from me Yao Ming was walking through the lobby. He saw us all looking at him and he waved...right before he ducked his head to walk out the door. He was taller than the elevators. He was too tall for the doors at a basketball stadium. I come up about to his waist.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

From Our Moscow Bureau

A few weeks ago I was invited to a Chili Cook-off here in Moscow. What a treat! I immediately starting having visions of a huge parking lot full of BBQ pits, pick-up trucks, and girls with jeans so tight you could count the change in their pockets. While I knew that this was only a vision and probably not going to be the reality of the Moscow Chili Cook-off, deep down I still was hoping that I would be able to at least taste something that had some semblance of Texas Chili.

The cook-off was held at the Canadian Embassy. The friends that I was meeting up with to go to the Embassy with were running a bit late so they were surprised when I made them move at a slow jog to the Embassy. My fear was that we would get there too late and be left with the pots of chili that no one wanted.

The Canadian Embassy is pretty sweet. You have to give them your passport to get inside, and I would have given up my citizenship too had I known that they had a canteen underneath the embassy that served cheap Dr. Peppers (along with a host of other libations)!

As feared, we had arrived too late. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Place Chili Pots had been wiped clean. With my chin down I started back to the bar for another Dr. Pepper when a cute girl holding a half full pot of chili motioned to me with an empty bowl in her hand. My initial thought was "no matter how bad the chili taste at least I'll get to flirt with this girl for a bit". I started making conversation with her while she poured me the biggest bowl of chili I'd ever seen. I put a spoonful of her chili in my mouth while talking to her. It had so much cayenne pepper that it made me cough. When I coughed, the mouthful of chili that I had went up my nose. The cayenne pepper burnt so bad my eyes started to water as my nose started running (with bits of chili…gross!). Needless to say she didn't want to talk to me much after that.

In all honesty there were one or two contestants that made some pretty good chili. While they might not have won first place, they did manage to keep me from shooting it out of my nose.

The judges announced at the end of the night that next month's competition will be a Curry Cook-off. I may have to eat before I get there…

~The Moscow Correspondent

Monday, December 01, 2008

Apple, Meet the Tree


It's Thanksgiving. The girls in the family are all sitting around the dining room table while the menfolk watch football. I look up and see my mom, cousin Charlotte and Nanny (Aunt Liz) all paging through the ads and magazines...with identical hairstyles and glasses...and all three of them are simultaneously chattering away and gossiping and comparing notes on all the best sales. The future is staring me in the face...and it's wearing bifocals.